Screenplay Credits

The Writers Guild is currently engaged in one of its semi-annual screaming matches over whether to amend the credits manual.  Long ago, the WGA assumed the right of final determination over who gets to have their name come after the words, "Written by…" on a movie.  This was a good thing since too many screenplays wound up being credited to a star or a producer or a studio executive's nephew who didn't write a consonant.  (Mae West used to have it in her contract that she would be credited as the writer of her movies, regardless of who actually filled the pages.  There were other, less blatant but still unfair applications.)

The WGA established strict rules as to how much you must have contributed to a screenplay in order to get your name on the movie.  These rules have always been a source of contention but lately, with Hollywood on a kick of having 93 people work on every script and end-credits that run longer than some movies, the sore feelings have gotten exponentially sorer.  The guidelines favor the original writer, even when little or nothing he wrote makes it to the screen, and prevent any more than (usually) three writers from receiving screen credit.

As per usual for WGA brawls, emotions are running high and a lot of writers are accusing one another of unconscionable greed and un-writerlike motives.  Also as per usual, both sides have some valid points.  One group argues that it demeans the role of the writer to put a laundry list of authors on-screen; that saying "Fifteen people wrote this movie" is tantamount to saying nobody wrote it and certainly not the first guy, who probably did most of the heavy lifting.  Against that, another faction argues that it demeans the role of the writer for someone to make a large contribution to a script and not receive any credit at all.  If the Caterer's Assistant gets a credit and someone who wrote several key scenes doesn't, that doesn't say much about the importance of the writer.  Or of the believability of screen credits.

I think both sides are at least partly in the right.  The trouble is they're working towards separate goals.  You can configure the rules so that their main goal is to reflect the reality, whatever it is.  That means if 22 guys worked on a script, you put 22 names on the screen in some fashion.  Or you can hold, as some do, that it's desirable to discourage producers from hiring 22 guys; that they shouldn't be so hasty about firing one author and bringing in the next.  Awarding all or most of the credit to the first guy might nudge the business towards that attitude.

As I said, there's a lot of yelling and screaming about this, in part because loads of money is involved.  A movie earns its credited writers all sorts of residuals and home video fees.  If you write a movie and it's rewritten, you would not only lose prestige if the rewriter gets screen credit, you could lose a hell of a lot of cash.

What we have in the current credits manual creates, I believe, a lot of problems.  Credits often do not denote who really did what, and dishonesty is never the best policy.  It also does cause some to assume that the guy who got his name on the movie is just the guy who got his name on the movie, and not necessarily the person whose work we're seeing.  At the same time, I think it's Head-in-the-Sand Time to not admit that restricting the number of screen credits has utterly failed to stop producers from calling in a legion of rewriters.  Producers are going to hire as many of us as they want and nothing will stop this, other than the WGA passing and enforcing a rule that forbids rewrites.  The majority of the Guild membership would never forego the income and allow such a rule, let alone the studios.

So am I therefore on the side of those who want to revise the WGA Credits Manual to allow more "reality?"  To make it easier for production executives, directors, stars and other rewriters to get their names on a movie with which they fiddle?  No, I don't think I'm in favor of that, either. I believe that we presently have a flawed system which can only grow more flawed via repair.

As with the last time credit manual revisions were proposed — a stormy, angry vote that went down to overwhelming defeat — the changes being proposed are relatively minor and are barely a baby step to addressing the problems.  The main amendment presently before us hinges on the dubious (I think) concept of assessing the percentage that a given writer contributes to a script.  Presently, for a production executive to receive credit on a script he or she rewrote, that exec has to have written more than 50% of what gets on the screen.  The proposal now before us would lower that to the same standard as any participating writer, which is one third.

Those numbers are discussed as if someone could just feed a script into a calculator, punch two buttons and arrive at a firm percentage.  This is ridiculous.  You can study different drafts of a script and say that Writer A wrote 40% of the final version but that's going to be a very approximate number.  A writer's contribution is just too subjective, too open to different weighings.  If you write an unfilmable 300 page screenplay and I go in and, without adding a word, rearrange all the scenes and chop it down to a filmable 105 pages, what is the exact percentage of my contribution as a writer?  If I write a murder mystery that doesn't make a lot of sense and you come in and author two key scenes that clarify everything and change whodunnit, what is the percentage of your contribution?

Suppose someone writes a movie for Eddie Murphy to star in and Eddie hates all the dialogue and you're called in to rewrite it.  You paraphrase everything and then, when it gets before the cameras, Eddie starts ad-libbing and he further paraphrases everything.  What is the precise percentage of your contribution to the finished film?  (Keep in mind that arbitrations are based wholly on what's committed to paper, so what Eddie does is not considered writing.  What you did is, even though little of what you did got on screen.)

This is all so arguable that it's not worth fiddling with.  Why substitute one set of vague numbers for another?  It is certainly not worth the level of rage we had the last time this kind of proposal was made.  I am all for protecting the credit of the first writer, especially when we're dealing with his or her original idea.  I am all for making it difficult for production execs, stars, rewriters and especially directors to claim they wrote or co-wrote the movie.  On the other hand, there are cases where the film that gets made is the one the rewriters wrote and, for good or ill, it bears little resemblance to anything the first scribe envisioned.  In those cases, I think it's unfair to history — let alone, the individuals involved — to give all or most of the credit to Writer #1.

Those who think our system of credits is imperfect are right.  But that's not because of the difference between someone writing 33% of a movie and someone writing 50%.  It's because weighing the respective contributions of several writers to a collaborative project is an impossible judgment that can only ever be approximately correct.  And it's because, as a Guild, we can't decide if the goal of screen credits should be to reflect who actually writes the movie or to try and influence who actually writes the movie.

If the latter, there might be merit in a much talked-about suggestion, which is to allow participating rewriters to receive some acknowledgement in a film's end credits — like, say, "Additional Dialogue by…"  This idea is not part of the current proposal.  I need to hear more debate on that one before making up my mind, if and when that's ever actually proposed.

But with regard to the current proposals, changing arbitrary percentages is silly.  Given that the last thing the Writers Guild needs is more of its members yelling at each other, I think we ought to accept the current credits manual, flaws and all, and leave it alone.

And by the way, this entire article was written by one person.

The Smallest Detail

I just received the following Spam-style message from the Playboy Magazine people…

Women notice everything about a potential partner. That's why the smallest detail can mean the difference between taking her home and sleeping alone!  At the Playboy Store, we specialize in the little things that can help you land the woman of your dreams! Click on the link below to see the sexy accessory you can get for free!

The "sexy accessory you can get for free" turns out to be a keychain with a tiny reproduction of an old Playboy cover.  This apparently is one of the "smallest details" that will cause a woman who otherwise had no intention of going home with you to drag you into bed and rip the Jockey shorts from your torso with her teeth.  You can also achieve the same effect with the Playboy Metal Flask, the Playboy Metal Belt Buckle, and the Playboy Money Clip.  The Playboy Money Clip probably works best when it has several hundred-dollar bills in it.

These are the kind of products where, if you think they'll solve your problem, that's your problem.

Political Stuff

My e-mail inbox contains a number of messages from folks explaining why they think it would have been less (small "d") democratic for Torricelli to resign his office, thereby allowing the election to be postponed.  Okay, yes, I agree.  I don't like that concept much, either.  But right now, no one anywhere has a dram of respect for the guy.  Had he done what I suggested, might you not think that maybe, for once in his life, he had put his own benefit in second-position for a moment?  I'm just wondering what part of his non-existent dignity he thought he was protecting by not taking one for his party.

We recommend regular visits to Spinsanity, a common-sense website that points out errors and distortions by public figures and the press.  Some observers seem to feel the site has a liberal slant but even if that's so, they're willing to sometimes point out when liberals misbehave.  I don't see many (any?) conservative sites that will ever fault a conservative for anything besides not being conservative enough.  The current Spinsanity piece on Al Gore strikes me as even-handed, and the kind of thing I wish more pundits would do.

Today's Political Thought

A recurring complaint in my political commentaries here is that our "leaders" (note the quotes) are way too willing to place politics over principles, forgiving behavior they would condemn as illegal and immoral in the opposition party.  A good example is the recent bait-and-switch, bringing in Frank Lautenberg to run as the Democratic nominee in New Jersey.  The Democrats defending it today remind me of the Republicans who argued that Bush won Florida fair-and-square.  I not only don't believe the tactics were Kosher, I don't believe (in either case), the folks who have so argued really, deep down, believe it.

Oddly, if I understand the law correctly, there was a way to get Robert Torricelli off the ballot that would have been completely, by-the-book legal and more injurious to the Republicans.  That would have been if Torricelli had resigned, thereby allowing the Democratic governor of New Jersey to cancel the election for that slot and appoint an interim senator.  Unfortunately, Torricelli refused to resign, reportedly saying that was just too much of a humiliation.

Regardless of whether you're a Democrat or Republican, wouldn't you have at least a slightly higher opinion of Bob Torricelli if he had resigned?  Suppose he'd come out and said, "I feel so strongly about saving the Senate from G.O.P. control that I have to do whatever I can to make that happen.  Also, it will be completely legal this way and, since Republicans kept calling on me to resign, it should make them happy, too."  Whether you wanted him to help his party or not, I'll bet you'd have respected the man a wee bit more if he'd done that.

But he didn't because it would have been too "humiliating."  I guess I'll never understand politicians.

Bad Indicator

Of all the indicators that the "Bush Economy" is heading down the commode, this is the most serious: Producers have just announced a film remake of The Six Million Dollar Man, only now it's going to be The Six Billion Dollar Man.  Alan Greenspan has a lot to answer for.

The Latest…

Consider this a blanket recommendation of all the magazines put out by TwoMorrows Publishing (issuers of my own tome, advertised at the bottom of this page).  But I especially enjoy The Jack Kirby Collector, Comic Book Artist and Alter Ego…and I really enjoyed the latest Alter Ego.  One side has an in-depth look at the great artist Lou Fine.  The other has lotsa stuff by and about one of my favorite comic book writers (and a helluva nice guy), Arnold Drake.  Drake was the co-creator/writer of Deadman and The Doom Patrol, to name but a small chunk of his fine work.  He always struck me as one of those writers who had a lot more to offer comics than comics had to offer him.

Political stuff: This column by David S. Broder is worth a look but if you don't have time to click that link, I'll summarize: Says he, George W. is determined to launch a war and topple Hussein, and the White House can't be bothered to give us a coherent, consistent explanation as to why this is necessary or justified.

Daily Diversions

As someone who has trouble even sounding like himself, I envy people who can sound like many people, let alone everybody.  The fellow above, Bob Anderson, can sound like just about every great male pop vocalist — Frank, Dino, Tony Bennett, et al…even seemingly-impossible imitations like Mel Tormé, Otis Redding and (one at a time) the Righteous Brothers.  He has also achieved the greatest feat an impressionist can achieve, which is to do an impression so well that other impressionists learn how to do the guy by watching you.  Any time you see anyone do Sammy Davis, Jr., they're probably imitating either Bob Anderson or someone who learned how to do Sammy after seeing Bob Anderson.

You can see Bob Anderson if you're in Vegas the next few months and you go to the lounge at the Stardust Hotel.  Admission is about a third the price of Danny Gans but the star is no less amazing.

We paid another visit last evening to the production of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum which we discussed here.  And we had another wonderful time.  That's all I have to say about that.

Over on Salon, there's a fine article by Keith Olbermann, who is probably known to many of you as a sportscaster.  When he was on news-type cable (MSNBC, I think), he had what I thought was a very fair, informative interview show.  He's now writing fine commentaries like this one for Salon.  You need a subscription to read the thing so I'll summarize it for non-subscribers.  Basically, it says that the notorious scold Bill Bennett and a new organization he's heading up have been too eager to brand as unpatriotic, not only anyone who challenges the White House on its Iraq policies but even those who don't support them fervently enough.  Personally, I think this kind of tactic is going to backfire big time on the right-wingers who employ it.  Why, it may even get some Democrats mad enough to say something.

Hello, Larry!

I still think The Larry Sanders Show is/was the best sitcom of the last decade or two.  Good writing.  Even better acting.  Celebrities willing to trash their own images.  How can you beat that?  This week, the episodes begin appearing on Bravo and also in some local markets via syndication.  I don't know about Bravo but I presume the local stations are running edited/alternate versions which are missing some of the stronger language.

I also assume the episodes aren't as good that way, but will check and report.  In the meantime, if you have a question you've always wanted to ask Larry Sanders about his life (or even about your life), you can do so online.  Just go to the Bravo website and Ask Larry.

Briefly Noted…

If you believe that all this talk of war with Iraq is, at least in part, to distract Americans from economic bad news…well, here is a summary of the economic bad news.  [Warning: Extremely annoying pop-up ads.]

As a reminder: Your POVonline pal, m.e., will be appearing this coming weekend at the Victoria Comic, Movie & VideoFest 2002, being held in Victoria, British Columbia.  More info on the event can be obtained by clicking here.

Gore Watching

I don't have many strong opinions about Al Gore's recent speech other than that I think America needs to be reminded that Bush and Cheney are talking about doing something that the United States has never really done, which is to start a war.  Unless there is solid proof that Saddam Hussein was behind the 9/11 assaults — and clearly, there wouldn't be a debate in progress if the U.S. presently had such proof — what is proposed is that we initiate this round of hostilities and killing.  Does anyone think this won't bite us on the ass in the future?  It may be necessary but actions do have consequences.

As usual, Gore's speech is being reviewed as much for its style as content.  One level of criticism that I think is unfair is when people accuse him of playing politics and say, as if revealing an ulterior motive, "He's running for president."  Why it would be either a secret or a criticism of Al Gore that he wants to be president, I do not know.  It's like saying, "Hey, watch out for those Dodgers.  I'm beginning to suspect they want to win the World Series."  Yes, Gore wants to be president, the same way Bush wants to be re-elected, the way McCain wants to be president, the way darn near every elected official higher than County Tax Assessor wants to occupy the Oval Office.  Why is this even the slightest criticism?  Isn't it about time we stopped damning politicians for dabbling in politics?  Some do it with more grace than others but they all do it.  Let's find more meaningful things to condemn these people for.  It's not like there aren't plenty from which to pick.

It's De-Lovely!

Rachel York and Brent Barrett

Last evening, my friend Carolyn and I took in the Reprise! production of Cole Porter's Anything Goes up at the Freud Playhouse at U.C.L.A.  It closes Sunday, which is a shame for those of you who won't get to see it.  Storywise, Anything Goes ain't much of a story…some trivia about a guy who stows away on an ocean liner to try and stop the woman he loves from marrying somebody else.  Since its original production in 1934, the book has been revised a few times and it's still silly.  Fortunately though, subsequent productions have also interpolated a few of Mr. Porter's best songs from other venues.  They join some terrific songs that were already in the show and…well, you have a score that can't be beat.  Get together a terrific cast and you have a helluvan evening.

The Reprise! folks got together a terrific cast, headlined by Brent Barrett, Anastasia Barzee, Larry Cedar, Jason Graae, Delee Lively, Sally Struthers, Fred Willard and Rachel York.  Boy, were they good — all of them, as were the other members of the troupe, directed by Glenn Casale.  Half the numbers had that little magical moment at the end where the audience bursts into applause a half-second faster than normal, courtesy clapping, and hits their hands together hard and fast to indicate how much they loved what just occurred.  At the end of "Blow, Gabriel, Blow," there was an explosion you may have heard in other time zones.

Everyone was good.  Rachel York sings like the proverbial dream.  Fred Willard, Jason Graae and Larry Cedar were all very, very funny.  So was Sally Struthers, who seems to be succeeding in her ongoing campaign to turn herself into Shelley Winters.

Not much point in me saying more since there are only a few more performances.  But I'm glad to be a subscriber to Reprise! The batting average is high and every so often, they come up with one like this one that all by itself is worth the price of the whole season.  If you live in Southern California, check out the Reprise website.  The remaining two shows for this season are On the Twentieth Century, which will star Kristen Chenoweth and Douglas Sills, and She Loves Me, in which Patrick Cassidy will play the role his father Jack played on Broadway.

Rocky Reception

Every few months, the Pacific Pioneer Broadcasters group stages a luncheon to honor someone who has made a vital and lasting contribution to the art of broadcasting.  Yesterday afternoon, it was the long-overdue salute to the First Lady of Voice Work, June Foray.  The place was packed to hear a dais that included Hal Kanter, Arthur Hiller, Tom Hatten, Fay Kanin, Milt Larsen, Leonard Maltin, Charles Solomon, Roger Mayer, Gary Owens and Yours Truly.  Stan Freberg was to have been among the speakers but a touch of bronchitis forced him to stay home and fax in a letter which Gary read.  Even without Freberg, it was a great afternoon with a lot of love and respect for a lady who has done the best-possible work in her field for more than a half-century.  (For a piece about an earlier tribute to June I attended, click here.)

Things I Wanted To Post Here

alhirschfeld

They're renaming the Martin Beck Theater in New York.  As reported here, it will be renamed the Al Hirschfeld Theater next June on Mr. Hirschfeld's 100th birthday.  You'd think they'd change the marquee now just in case the man doesn't make 100 but in any case, it's a well-deserved honor.  I just hope someone has the wit to hide little "NINAs" all over the building.

All the news: on the condition of DC Comics editor-writer Denny O'Neil is encouraging.  We're especially happy about this because Denny is one of the good guys.

That production of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum I keep raving about was raved about, or at least liked a lot, in this review in the Los Angeles Times.

Busy, Busy, Busy!

I spent the last few days running around to meetings, putting the finishing touches on Mad Art (a book coming your way shortly from Watson-Guptill), lunching with Stan Lee (he says hi back), prepping my speech for tomorrow's luncheon in honor of June Foray and, most of all, setting up my new computer.  It's a Pentium-4 with 512 Meg RDRAM, two 120 gig harddisks, a DVD-Rom drive, a 40X CD-RW, a 250 mb Zip drive, an automatic ice maker, a built-in toaster oven, a set of wind chimes, five golden rings, four calling birds…

Okay, I'm lying about those last few.  But it's a helluva computer and I would like to again plug/recommend Bill Goldstein to anyone in the L.A. area who's in the market for anything that computes.  I couldn't have asked for wiser or better service.  You can visit his website at www.wdgoldstein.com.  Even if you don't buy anything there, he has a good repository of virus removal tools, as well as a terrific on-line video of a segment he did for the local news.  It's about how people donate old computers to charity or sell them, thinking wrongly they've purged the hard drive of personal info.  Bill and a reporter went to a thrift store, picked out some donated computers and Bill was able to restore the donor's files…including credit card numbers, personal data and probably a lot of downloaded porn.  A good, cautionary tale.

Things will be back to normal here as soon as things are back to normal here, if you know what I mean.  Our web counter will be topping a quarter of a million hits any day now and we'll celebrate by putting up a few new (old) columns.  Or something.

Quick Takes

New computer's running great.  So far, I like Windows XP.  Reinstalling all your software is like buying DVDs of movies you already bought on VHS.  Go read Michael Kinsley's latest column.  Having lunch today with Stan Lee.  I'll tell him you said hello.  Gotta run.