Today's First Video Link

Here's a profession you might have considered pursuing: Taste Tester for Pringles…

Dispatches From the Fortress – Day 68

Well, let's see. I had a dead possum in my swimming pool over the weekend. I'm taking it as a Godfather-style warning from someone who's afraid The Complete Pogo series will beat them out for an Eisner Award this year. I also have no hot water in my house but a plumber's coming later today to see how much he can charge me to correct that situation.

Try as I may, it's impossible to shut out all news of Trump from my life. From what I gather, he's absolutely perfect in everything he does and anyone who suggests otherwise is a lying idiot who's totally corrupt and their business is failing and they have lousy ratings and they're probably ugly, too. I find it kinda fascinating that the worst insults that Donald Trump can find to hurl at anyone is that their business is failing, they have low ratings and/or that they're physically unattractive. And of course, usually their businesses aren't failing, their ratings aren't low and they look better than he does…or no worse.

End of Trump comments for this message and, if I can manage it, this week.

Getting back to something that gives me joy: Below is the final cover for Volume 7 of Pogo: The Complete Syndicated Comic Strips: Pockets Full of Pie. It is off to the presses well ahead of schedule for a release date of October 13. Reports indicate that Friday the Thirteenth will be falling on a Tuesday this year.

Honesty compels me to say the following. In normal times, there would be no question of the book coming out on schedule; not when the printers have it this far ahead of its publication date. But these are not normal times and the books are printed overseas. It would not surprise me if that person I'm not mentioning suddenly decided to close U.S. borders to any import from a country with a "K" in its name. All publishers around the world are dealing with at least a small amount of uncertainty these days. Matter of fact, probably any business that relies on foreign manufacturing or labor is less than 100% confident of anything more than about eight hours into the future.

I remain insufferably proud of this series. I'm also proud to be fulfilling my promise to my late love, Carolyn Kelly, who wanted the series she launched to keep on reprinting her father's magnum opus all the way to its conclusion. Volume 7 puts us more than halfway there.

Carolyn spent the last ten months of her too-short life at a facility that was part "skilled nursing facility" and part "assisted living residence." I'm sure most of you can tell me horror stories about what happened to a loved one in one of these but — I beg of you — don't. I have heard way too many of those tales and I do not need convincing that some of them are nightmarish places that no one who is loved by anyone should ever be in.

Carolyn was in the best one we could find and I still think no better choice was possible. Still, that facility is today awash with COVID-19. As of a month ago, they were reporting 20 deaths and over 17 then-current cases of the disease. Those numbers are surely way higher today and every now and then, having spent nearly a year of my life visiting that building almost daily, it depresses me to imagine what a ghastly, depressing place it must be now. It wasn't exactly Disneyland during the Main Street Electrical Parade back then.

I'm not mentioning its name but this is the situation at many such businesses around the country. Anyone who believes this pandemic thing is a hoax to unseat certain elected officials should visit one, maskless.

Nursing facilities are as much a necessity of life as hospitals these days — especially when some hospitals are still jammed at times. I dealt with such places when my mother was dying and again with Carolyn and I did learn one trick that helped a little. I'm going to write a post in the next day or so to tell you about that trick in case you ever need it (you might) though it may only work in certain select situations. If it does work for you, please pass it on and give credit for it, not to me but to the person who inspired it…Master Sergeant Ernest Bilko.

Tuesday Night!

On Thursday, I'll be interviewing my friend Cheri Steinkellner, who with her husband Bill worked on The Jeffersons, Cheers, Bob and many other shows including the animated series, Teacher's Pet and the Broadway musical of Sister Act. Among other vital questions, I'll ask her what it's like to accept an Emmy Award presented by Milton Berle when he doesn't want to get off the stage.

The next Cartoon Voices Panel will be Saturday, May 30. And wait'll you see the lineup I'm lining up.

Flake News

Several folks have sent me links to this article in the New York Times. In it, media columnist Ben Smith dares to question whether Ronan Farrow is as good a journalist as his fame suggests. Says Smith, "At times, he does not always follow the typical journalistic imperatives of corroboration and rigorous disclosure, or he suggests conspiracies that are tantalizing but he cannot prove."

Curiously, Smith does not delve at all into the scandal that seems to be of primary importance to Farrow: The relentless attacks on his alleged father, Woody Allen. Might that not tell us volumes about what Farrow thinks constitutes solid proof or relevant evidence? So I don't know what to think of any of this.

Fred Willard, R.I.P.

A very funny man, onstage and off…and very nice. And a good dresser. Fred was the kind of guy who showed up in a tie and jacket when jeans and a t-shirt would have been just fine.

And polite and friendly and approachable. And humble. People surrounded him once at an event I attended, all telling him how great he was on Fernwood Tonight or in This is Spinal Tap or a bit with Jay Leno on The Tonight Show or somewhere. Fred thanked them but quickly changed the subject to anything but himself.

Oh — and a great audience. I sat next to him at a show where great comedian after great comedian performed. There are comics and comic actors who either won't laugh at someone else or they give out with a kind of fake chuckle, trying to look like it doesn't bother them when someone else is scoring. Not Fred. He howled as loudly as anyone in the place and now and then the guy on stage would get a monstrous guffaw and Fred would turn to me and say, "Isn't this guy great?"

Getting back to funny: Fred was. He was fast. He was funny. From the day I first saw him in the Ace Trucking Company out at the Ice House in Pasadena, I watched as he would crawl into a character and play it for all it for every possible laugh. Every possible laugh and then some.

And loved and respected. Everyone liked him. Everyone wanted him on their show. That was Fred Willard. Wasn't that guy great?

Today's First Video Link

I occasionally mention my pal Charlie Frye here and I usually say he's the best comedy juggler I've ever seen in my life. Want some proof? Every day during our isolations, Charlie has been posting a video as "The Great Quarantini," performing some silly feat in his bathrobe in his workroom. Here's an example. If you're watching on a computer monitor, take this full screen. This man does things like this all the time…

Cookie Monster

You see that cookie? When I was younger and eating things with high sugar content, those cookies were my favorite. They were sold in just about every delicatessen in the world and I bought them (or had my parents buy me them) all the time. But I never knew what to call them except "those cookies with the colored balls on them." A more detailed discussion of this mystery occurred on this blog back in 2006. Read this message and then this one.

I never got a satisfactory answer and since I wasn't eating the things anymore, the whole question slipped from my mind where there is ample opportunity for slippage. The other day though, I happened upon a recipe for them. The noted pastry/dessert chef Meghan McGarry makes them with a dash of bourbon and calls them "bourbon confetti cookies." Being an absolute non-drinker, I've never knowingly ingested bourbon but I don't think that was ever in the zillions of them I consumed. Or maybe I had an alcohol problem and didn't know it.

Anyway, I still don't think that's the name for them and have concluded that there isn't any name for them that's even vaguely close to official. Back around '06, my friend Misty Lee wanted to start a campaign to name them "Evaniers." We'd all start using that name for them on the Internet and it would spread, as things do on the Internet, and everyone would eventually call them that. Since I'd given up the cookies by then, I asked her not to.

Anyway, if you want to bake up a batch of them, here's the recipe. Don't make any for me, thank you.

Today's Video Link

Here's another one of these mass online collaborations…and maybe my favorite so far. A whole mess of performers who've been in productions of Hairspray — and there are only about nineteen folks alive who appear in musicals and haven't been in a production of Hairspray — perform the big hit number from that show. If you look closely, you may spot Randy Rainbow and Kristin Chenoweth and Harvey Fierstein and Bruce Vilanch and my friend Valerie Perri and many others.

This is all part of fund-raising efforts for The Actors Fund, which is helping save the lives and mortgages of many folks in the entertainment industry — not just actors and not just folks in live theater. It's a most worthy cause and if you enjoyed this video even a third as much as I did, do what I did and send a donation (whatever you can afford) to the Actors Fund, which I bet they rename soon so they don't have to keep explaining it doesn't only help actors…

Last Word (Maybe) on Souplantation

I have about two dozen e-mails from folks who are either attorneys or think they know as much as one defending the Souplantation statement and their cavalier (to me) attitude towards anyone who's stuck with one of their gift cards now that the chain has gone bye-bye. Typical is this excerpt from a message from Don Kemp. "BK" is how lawyers refer to bankruptcies…

Once they start the wheels turning towards a BK, they really are limited as to what they can say and if (presumably) Karl or I were advising them on their BK I would not endorse the language you'd like to see. They really shouldn't give any hope or indication any bill or even gift card can be redeemed in any fashion before or after filing. The court will decide who gets what and how. Souplantation might make suggestions, but the court has to ensure the protocols are followed.

Okay. I concede the point. I just think it would have been better to say nothing about the gift cards. And yes, as just about everyone noted, a lawyer probably wrote the part that bothered me. Is it too much to think that there might be lawyers out there who could have said what they had to say in a classier manner?

NFMTV: Cartoon Voices Panel 2!

Featuring Jim Meskimen, Gregg Berger, Kaitlyn Robrock, Rob Paulsen and Debra Wilson…

Today!

From the E-Mailbag…

I received a lot of messages about the item here concerning Souplantation not making good on its gift cards. Most of them said something like what Karl Kuras wrote in this e-mail to me…

Long time fan of the blog and kid who grew up on the D&D cartoon and Garfield and Friends.

I'm also a lawyer who practiced bankruptcy law for many years. The Souplantation peoples' hands are probably tied on the refunds. Once a person or company (yeah, the Supreme Court thinks they're one and the same) begins to prepare for bankruptcy proceedings they are barred from paying any of their creditors.

The "court" they refer to is probably the bankruptcy court which will determine the priority of debtors and whether enough funds are left for the repayment.

I'm the last person to defend corporate America but this is sadly the best they can do under the circumstances.

No, I think they could have said something like, "We really appreciate all of you customers who bought gift cards and we wish we could somehow redeem them. But we're plunging into bankruptcy proceedings here and they're governed by laws that take most of that out of our hands. If it turns out there's any way we can make good on those cards, we will." They could have been much nicer about it.

I also seem to recall that there was some restaurant chain years ago that went outta business but still arranged with some other chain to offer something to gift card holders. The other chain wanted to see if they could inherit some of the loyal customers of the going-outta-biz firm so they offered to honor not the face value of the gift cards but some percentage up to a certain amount.

I knew about how bankruptcy court takes over in these situations. I was just amazed at how callous that second paragraph was towards folks who'd paid good cash for those gift cards and will probably never see a nickel on the dollar. The soft-serve frozen yogurt at Souplantation should have been that cold.

Go Read It!

Here's a profile of our friend Frank Welker. This article way understates how much this man has worked.

Today's Second Video Link

Here's another one of those Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals that's on YouTube for forty-eight hours, a few of which have already expired as I post this. This is Cats but not the recent movie version. It's a filming done in 1988 of the production that ran slightly less than forever at the New London Theatre on Drury Lane. It has Elaine Paige and Sir John Mills in its cast and I think it's fairly entertaining. But then I didn't hate the recent movie as much as some folks did…

Today's Video Link

Here's quite a find — and thanks to Steve Stoliar for telling me about it. It's from 1952, as am I, and it's a film made for the sponsors of Groucho Marx's TV show, You Bet Your Life, to be shown at some sort of national sales convention. Groucho, glancing often at off-camera cue cards or his secret projection screen, comes off as the kind of person who should have been ridiculed by the Marx Brothers. We are promised a backstage tour but the film never goes backstage and there's no real tour — but it's worth watching…