As I'm sure you know by now, Robert Mueller's office has completed and delivered its report into Russian interference in the 2016 election.
I'm watching the cable news networks in rotation and I'm reminded of my favorite quote about the news media. It was uttered by the late Jack Germond and he said, "The trouble with the news is that we're not paid to say 'I don't know' when we don't know."
I became a TV writer in large part because I happened to meet a bright fellow named Dennis Palumbo. At the time — this is mid-seventies — new situation comedy writers came in pairs. If one aspiring comedy writer went to an agent and asked, "How do I break in?," the first thing he was told was "Find a partner."
Dennis and I found each other and while we weren't a team for long, it was long enough to get us some credits that led to respectable solo careers. We parted friends, veered off in different directions and we still have lunch every year or so. I hope he thinks he was as fortunate to meet me as I was to meet him.
His career has actually been careers (plural) because he not only went on to write movies — and don't we all love My Favorite Year? — but also mystery novels like his latest, Head Wounds. Most of his time though is occupied by being a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in folks in show business, most of whom are writers. I have never felt the need to go to someone in that field but if I ever did, I wouldn't hesitate to call on him because, as he did when we were a team, he really understands the mind and the needs of a writer.
Dennis is the guest this week on Ken Levine's fine podcast. If you take the time to listen, you'll hear lot of expert advice on how to write, what to do when you can't write, how to cope with times when no one wants you to write, etc. You'll also understand why I think he really understands the mind and the needs of a writer.
Here's my pal Jim Meskimen doing some "warm-up" exercises for his profession, which is "impressionist." As you can see/hear, he's really good at it. If you'd like to hear him doing more than one word as some of the people, I intend to give him a thorough workout on the Cartoon Voices panel at WonderCon next week. That panel is Saturday, 3/30 at 5:30 PM in Room North 200B and it will also feature Jon Bailey, Alicyn Packard, Phil LaMarr, Rachel Butera and a surprise guest or two.
It immediately follows the Quick Draw! panel in the same room at 4:30 so you can come for that and stay for Cartoon Voices, as many do. The full programming schedule is over on this page and you can find a list of the ones I'm doing over here.
A lot of folks are peeved at Nancy Pelosi for saying she's not interested in impeaching Donald Trump. I don't think they should be. It reminds me, as so many things these days do, of something that happened in the run-up to the impeachment hearings about Richard Nixon. A man named Thomas "Tip" O'Neill was the House Majority Leader then. There were a number of people who could have screwed up the removal of Nixon had they not done their jobs properly and O'Neill was one of the main ones.
There were Democrats aplenty who wanted to impeach Nixon A.S.A.P. but for a time, O'Neill was an obstacle. His skill as House Majority Leader was that he could count votes better than anyone and he knew how and when to proceed when he didn't have them. One by one, irate Democrat Congressfolks would try to get a vote on impeachment and O'Neill would block them. The evidence was not all in, the case had not yet been built and the votes were just not there.
His logic was that if an impeachment vote was taken prematurely, it would fail and Nixon would be vindicated. Later, when maybe the case was stronger and a vote might have passed, the Republicans would say, "This is old news. We already voted on it and you lost!" It could have killed the momentum of a better-timed effort.
I dunno if that's what Pelosi is thinking right now but she is real good at counting votes.
In a more speculative vein, I had a thought last night about George and Kellyanne Conway. As you know, he's a big shot Republican lawyer and she's Trump's devoted adviser and spokesperson. He tweets that Trump is mentally ill and must be removed from office. She goes on every cable show that will have her and insists Trump is great and good and sane. Trump has taken to calling him "a stone cold LOSER & husband from hell!" So you have to think it's got to be fun, fun, fun at the Conway house.
But maybe things aren't what they seem. I may be dead wrong about this but, hey, not knowing what's going on is no reason these days not to post on the 'net. Mr. Conway is a pretty sharp guy and I'm seeing a big "What If?" here. What If Kellyanne has become convinced that Trump is just as looney and dangerous as her hubby is saying? Maybe her special access to Trump has convinced her of this and it's why he's become outspoken about it.
What If they've jointly decided to play a sort of Good Cop/Bad Cop game to bring him down?
What If they jointly decided that the best thing they could do — for the country and her career so she doesn't go down with Trump — would be for her to stay in Trump's good graces? She can always turn on him later…and it might be more effective then. In the meantime, she can maybe nudge him away from some of his more awful ideas while she gathers info, acting like a kind of self-appointed mole.
We're getting a ridiculous number of leaks from inside the White House that Trump said this crazy thing or voiced that unhinged whine. Maybe she's a main source of this kind of info. Maybe she and her spouse are conspiring to keep the public informed about the dangerous guy in the Oval Office: She observes the insanity, he reports it out. And one day, she'll reveal that she has thought for some time Trump was a liar with serious instabilities and she just stayed in his circle to be a witness to what was going on there and to try to help her country.
Yeah, this is a wild speculation but I'm not sure it makes any less sense than the notion that the Conways could remain a couple when each thought the other was helping destroy America. Imagine if in 1992, the deputy campaign manager for George Bush's reelection campaign started sleeping with the chief strategist for the Bill Clinton campaign…
Oh, wait. They did. Forget I said anything.
Have you been watching Seth Meyers? I swear, his "A Closer Look" segments are some of the smartest, funniest political humor ever done for television. If you don't watch him, these spots are usually available on YouTube, often before they even air on the East Coast. Here's tonight's, which as I post this, won't air on the West Coast for more than two hours. It includes a wonderful take-down of Congressman Devin Nunes, who is suing Twitter and a couple of accounts that make fun of him because they make fun of him…
Can't let the day go by without wishing a happy 97th birthday to one of my heroes, Carl Reiner. Carl's kind of an amazing guy because he started working rather actively in show business around 1947 and he has never been unemployed since, except by choice. He is an actor, a writer, a director, a producer and even at times, a game show host. Since '47, he has never not been involved in some creative endeavor and they have usually been very good creative endeavors…the kind where even if it flopped, people said, "Hey, nice try." And many of them did not flop and were very successful.
He is a star but apparently one with very little ego as so much of his career has been devoted to making others look good. When he worked for Sid Caesar, he made Sid Caesar look good. Then he made Dick Van Dyke look good and Mel Brooks look good and Steve Martin look good and so many more. A performer who does not hog the spotlight is a rare and impressive thing. And I've never heard anyone say he was not the nicest guy around. I always thought his role as Alan Brady on The Dick Van Dyke Show was an example of an actor playing everything he himself was not.
It is great that he is not only still with us but still writing and even posting on Twitter. I salute him on his 97th birthday and hope this means he is only middle-aged.
We're closing in on WonderCon Anaheim, which takes place March 29-31 at the Anaheim Convention Center not far from Disneyland. If you're thinking of attending, you should know that passes for Saturday are sold out and passes for Friday and Sunday will be sold out before long. Everything else you need to know about this gala gathering is on the convention website.
And if you have your passes, go over there and download the WonderCon Quick Guide, which will tell you plenty about the event you'll be attending. The more you know, the better a time you'll have there.
Red pandas enjoying winter weather…
Joe Biden is saying he might announce soon who'll be his running mate for his 2020 presidential campaign. I'm not sure if he's formally announced yet that he will mount a 2020 presidential campaign but he's already talking about a running mate. This doesn't make a whole lotta sense to me…not that most things about politics ever do. Seems to me Biden's best choice might just be someone who's mounting their own 2020 presidential campaign at the moment and isn't ready yet to give up and join the Biden ticket.
I'm also baffled by those who are claiming it's all over and the Democratic nominee will surely be Biden plus Whoever. I wouldn't mind if it was but it seems to me we're heading for The Most Unpredictable Election Ever. Would anyone reading this post be shocked if some new scandal erupted tomorrow about Donald Trump? Or anyone else in the running? I'm talking about something that isn't even a blip on our national radar right now.
It's way too early to assume Biden has a lock on one nomination or that Trump has a lock on the other. Read this article about all the investigations and lawsuits that may engulf Trump in the coming months. You may think he's a great president, a superb president, the president of your dreams…but you don't think some of these inquiries won't present massive legal problems for the guy. Heck, I like Biden and even I wouldn't bet money he won't go out next Tuesday and say something foolish that would damage his campaign.
Sit back. Relax. We have a long way to go before anyone has a lock on anything except maybe Paul Manafort's cell door.
Each and every year, the Library of Congress's National Recording Preservation Board selects twenty-five albums titles to be designated as important historical markers of their time. The list this year includes one of the favorite records of all time…Stan Freberg Presents the United States of America, Volume 1. And it's about friggin' time. Others have made this observation but it's either the best history lesson disguised as a comedy album or the best comedy album disguised as a history lesson.
Created by the great (and sadly, late) Stan Freberg, it was certainly a record that had a major impact on me and I sure wasn't the only one.
Today's announcement also bestows "national treasure" status on Minnie the Moocher by Cab Calloway, La Bamba by Ritchie Valens, Soul Man by Sam & Dave, the Broadway cast album of Hair, Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond, a Cyndi Lauper album and many other eclectic selections. But to me, Stan's record is the very big deal.
So I've been lying awake thinking about this great job that I'm doubtlessly about to be offered and what keeps going through my mind is: They've got a helluva nerve, just presuming I'll accept it. Who do they think they are?
They probably think, Oh, go ahead and tell that website that Evanier is now publisher of DC Comics. No, we haven't asked him yet but he'll grab it. It's not like he's got anything better to do.
The gall of some people. Just wait'll they call and offer it. I'll tell them what they can do with their lousy, stinkin' job.
Why in the name of Perry White would I want that job? I've known a number of people who were publisher of DC and it's hard…and not completely in a creative way. It's very corporate, very entrenched in the business side of things. There are folks who enjoy that kind of work but I never have. I don't even like having the power to hire and fire anyone. The last time I had to get rid of my gardener, I had a stomach ache for three days.
Yeah, it probably pays well…but you're being paid a lot for the stress and the long hours and for making decisions that affect human lives. I like to sit home and write all day and all night. There wouldn't be a whole lotta time to do that as publisher of DC. Besides, while I think I know a lot about how a comic book company works, there's a helluva lot I don't know. And what I do know includes the fact that the business is constantly changing and that the right course of action this month may be the worst possible one next month.
I'm thinking now of a couple of times when I've given a suggestion to whoever was then publisher of DC. Once in a while, they act upon them but more often, they tell me politely why it wouldn't work…and the reason is something I never would have imagined. It's within the realm of the stuff I don't know about…and you really can't from outside. Almost anything can seem like a good idea if you don't have to apply total reality to it.
True, there are lots of people in this world who get jobs for which they are not qualified. That doesn't mean I have to be one of them.
I'm starting to think that when they call in the next day or two to offer me the job, I just might turn it down. Or maybe I'll take it, change the look of Aquaman back so he looks like Aquaman, and then quit. See? I haven't even started functioning as a senior executive yet and I'm already having trouble making decisions.
Google just notified me I was mentioned on this webpage. The article says, in part…
This year's WonderCon will be held from March 29 to 31 at the Anaheim Convention Center in Anaheim, California. Attendees can look forward to seeing special guests such as DC Comics publisher Mark Evanier and Kendare Blake, author of Three Dark Crowns series and Goddess War trilogy. Other confirmed guests include Tom King, Tula Lotay, Greg Pak, Dana Simpson, Scott Snyder, Brian Stelfreeze, Peter J. Tomasi and Lee Weeks.
Wow. I'm publisher of DC Comics! This is very exciting and what a way to find out. I would have thought someone there would call me and offer me the job or something but instead, they just told whoever wrote that page. I guess I'll get the formal offer and maybe a contract in the next few days so I'd better get busy deciding how I'm going to completely rearrange the company and what books I'm going to cancel and how I'm going to give everyone huge raises and…
Hold on. Could this possibly be a typo or a mistake of some sort?
No, that's not possible. Everything on the Internet is true, right?