Recommended Listening

If you listen regularly to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast, you've already laughed yourself sick listening to the latest guest on it, my pal Ron Friedman. Ron's one of those guys who wrote for half the TV shows of the sixties, seventies, eighties and beyond…so many that Gilbert and his co-host Frank Santopadre couldn't even get through a third of Ron's résumé.  The list includes The Danny Kaye Show, The Jonathan Winters Show, Get Smart, The Odd Couple, All in the Family, G.I. Joe, The Transformers, Starsky & Hutch, I Dream of Jeannie, Bewitched, The Partridge Family and so many more.

The episode will soon disappear behind a paywall, accessible only to those of you who splurge for Stitcher Premium.  If you don't wanna pay for the privilege, go listen to it now.

A New Rule

I have a new rule to propose and I'll get to it in a moment. This is about last night's Bill Maher retrospective which took the place of last night's Real Time with Bill Maher and which repeats throughout the week. The retrospective covers that show and his previous series, Politically Incorrect. I have been an avid fan of both programs.

Very little has bothered me about either. I didn't like the title of Politically Incorrect because I think that term is one of those phrases that people use according to varying, self-serving definitions. Maher, if I understand correctly, employs it to refer mainly to things that are true but people are afraid to say them out loud or are discouraged from expressing them. That's fine but a lot of racism, misogyny, junk science, hatred and stuff-said-just-to-get-attention gets defended and justified as a blow against "political correctness." Just because a lot of people frown on certain viewpoints doesn't mean you're a hero (or even correct) for saying them. It's Politically Incorrect to insist the Holocaust is a Zionist fantasy.

On Real Time, I think he's smart and gutsy and often very, very funny. My only occasional gripe here is that while (correctly) decrying those who reject Real Science as it relates to Climate Change, Maher often commits the same crime with regard to science about the human body. The worse example was in 2016 when he gave a lot of camera time to a "doctor" who claimed to have cured Charlie Sheen of AIDS with the milk of — I am not making this up — arthritic goats. He hasn't done that kind of thing lately and there was none of it in the retrospective so maybe he's wised up about that kind of thing.

And I guess I sometimes feel sorry for the kind of Conservative guest he can lure onto his panels. Some of them seem to think they can "win" on that playing field with that host and that studio audience…and I guess, about twice a year, one scores a point or two. So does the team that plays the Harlem Globetrotters. I usually wonder which right-wingers on Maher's program really thought they could do their cause some good and which ones merely have Alan Dershowitz Disease, i.e., the emotional inability to decline any opportunity to be on television.

Generally though, I like watching Maher. The few times I've met him or been around him — admittedly, some time ago — I sure got the idea I wouldn't enjoy prolonged exposure to him personally but on my TV, he's great. His "New Rules" segment is often the brightest, most perceptive bit of political commentary I encounter all week. In light of that, I'd like to offer a New Rule inspired by what I saw last night…

New Rule: If there's ever an hour-long special about you that goes on and on about your greatness and brilliance, with all your friends testifying to how incredibly awesome you are, it should not end with a title card that says, "Executive Producer: You."

That's like Trump giving himself an "A-Plus" for everything. That's what, literally, Jerry Lewis did on the last half-dozen or so retrospectives of his career that did nothing but gush at his infinite genius. You might just as well have an announcer proclaim, "This tribute to Your Name Here which treated him as a capital-G God was created by and carefully supervised by Your Name Here."

If Maher had turned the hour over to an outside entity — one with no ax to grind, pro or con — and they'd done a "Fair and Balanced" look at his career, I think he would have come off very well. My little list of things I think he's done wrong is pretty sparse.

I just have a natural distrust of people blowing their own horns. When someone tells me how great their work is, my immediate thought is: You're telling me that because you know I'm not likely to come to that viewpoint on my own. In my experience, that which is self-praised is usually disappointing. And when it isn't disappointing, it's embarrassing to see it sold that way. Bill Maher is better than that…and that's not him saying that. It's me.

Today's Video Link

Residents of Sesame Street answer some of the most-asked questions from the web…

Cruz Control

In 2012, The Houston Chronicle endorsed Ted Cruz for the U.S. Senate. This time around, they're recommending Texans cast their ballots for his opponent, Beto O'Rourke. Their endorsement editorial is kind of amazing because I don't think Ted Cruz's worst enemy could write a more negative, damning condemnation of the man.

I have no idea how that race is going to turn out. The polls seem to be all over the place and, as I mentioned earlier, filled with all sorts of caveats as to why they might be way off. I do get the impression though that that's one seat that most Republicans in the Senate wouldn't mind losing to the Democrat.

Disappearing Department Stores

For those of you interested in the ongoing destruction of Sears and Kmart, Joseph Russo (a former Sears employee) has a sorta-inside look at how it's going.

What he says about the shoddy condition of the buildings is true of the Kmart I've been going to for many years.  What an utter dump that place is.  Now, that might not matter to a lot of people these days if they can get the lowest price there…and it's been my observation that often, you can.  It's just that in the one I frequented, service was often non-existent and amidst the decent stuff that you might want to purchase, there was an awful lot of crummy stuff that you didn't.

From Lego With Love

Back in this message, I joked that someone somewhere was probably making a Lego version of Goldfinger.  Well, as Friend-of-the-Blog Richard Gersh informs me, they're getting close.  I was shaken (not stirred) when he told me that Lego has put out their version of the Aston-Martin that Sean Connery drove in that film.  Can the movie itself be far behind?

Your Friday Trump Dump

Haven't done one of these in a while. Haven't looked at the news a lot.  I kinda feel like everyone has made up their mind by now as to whether it would be a good thing or a bad thing for Republicans to retain as much control as they have of the government.  It's now just a question of which side can do a better job of making their voters feel like the world will end if they don't turn out on Election Day.

Trump continues to do something almost every day which is morally and/or legally wrong.  His backers continue to deny it or just outright say, "Who cares?  We're in power and that's all that matters."  They'd howl if President Obama had done the same thing and howl even louder if President Crooked Hillary had done it…but Trump was right: He could "stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and not lose any voters."  Especially if the person he shot was a journalist.

It was kinda refreshing the other day to hear Pat Robertson throw the sanctity of human life under the bus to save a big-money arms deal.  He said, in effect, one dismembered reporter is a small price to pay to be able to sell all those guns.  And of course, what possible Teaching of Christ could possibly be violated with $100 billion dollars worth of weapons or however much it really is?

I wish someone had asked him what if they dismembered two reporters?  A hundred?  A thousand?  At what point does the cost/benefit ratio swing the other way?  How about ten thousand reporters and one TV evangelist motivated solely by money?  That would take a lot of bone saws.

What's going to happen is going to happen.  I'm not really following the polls this time.  After the last election, all the pollsters are filling their projections with qualifiers and disclaimers and prearranged excuses for why they might not be right.  It's like watching a baseball game where the announcers keep reminding you that the scoreboard may not be accurate.  I'll probably care like hell when we get near the bottom of the ninth.  And now, this…

  • Fred Kaplan explains what's up with that War in Afghanistan we seem to all care about less than we care about what Trump and Stormy Daniels are saying about each other on Twitter.  What Fred says about Afghanistan is that there is no path to victory there and there never has been one…and by the way, it's now the longest war in American history.  That just demonstrates the folly of fighting this kind of war and how we'll never get anything out of it; not even a damned Bob Hope Christmas Special.
  • And here's a right-winger saying essentially the same thing Fred says in his piece.  Can someone — anyone? — point me to an article by anyone with foreign policy cred arguing that that war is still or ever was winnable?
  • And here's Daniel Larison discussing how else our foreign policy is going in precisely the wrong directions.
  • Our President continues to denounce Democrats as "an angry mob" while inciting his own angry mobs.  It's yet another example of how nothing is immoral or wrong these days if you do it on behalf of Trump.  If I were you, I'd stay off Fifth Avenue any time Donald is in town.
  • Reports of clerical sex abuse continue to mount.  Atheism continues to become increasingly popular.  Gee, you think maybe there's some connection there?  How about folks like Pat Robertson placing profits over principles?
  • This may be the stupidest thing Trump has ever said.  And the most dangerous.
  • And here's another example of how the Number One priority of this administration is the financial enrichment of the Trump Family.
  • And lastly for now: A lot of folks are bemoaning how the U.S. Constitution gives the same number of Senators to a state like Wyoming that it gives to a state like California.  It is, of course, a matter of unequal representation for the larger states and they're saying something should be done about it.  Kevin Drum explains to us why nothing will ever be done about it.

I have my mail-in ballot here.  I'm going to spend some time this weekend reading up on the various propositions.  Then I'm going to mark it, send it off and go back to paying less attention to the election that's the most important one of our lifetimes — until the next one that's the most important of our lifetimes and the one after that and the one after that…

Today's Video Link

Mindboggling card magic by Takumi Takahashi…

ME, Alphabetically

This is going around and I figured I might as well fill it out…

  • Available/Single?  Single but not available.
  • Best Friend?  Sergio Aragonés, unless you count the lady who's the reason I'm not available.
  • Cake or Pie?  I now eat neither but when I did, I wasn't wild about pies except for throwing.
  • Drink of Choice?  Water. Gave up everything else ten years ago and don't miss it in the slightest.
  • Essential Item You Use Everyday?  You could take away several of my body parts but don't take away my computer.
  • Favorite Color?  Orange, especially a pure one that doesn't skew towards brown or contain excessive red or yellow.
  • Gummy Bears or Worms?  Never had either but aren't they pretty much the same thing the second you start chewing?
  • Hometown?  Los Angeles, California. Always has been, always will be.
  • Indulgence?  I do just about everything I wanna.
  • January or February?  No big preference.  I don't like rain so of those two rainy months, I'll pick the one that's shorter.
  • Kids and Their Names?  No kids that I know of.  That's why I can do just about everything I wanna.
  • Life is Incomplete Without?  Breathing.  (Go ahead.  Disagree with that.  I dare you.)
  • Marriage Date?  Sometime in the future…maybe. That's been my answer for about half a century now.
  • Number of Siblings?  None.  My parents figured that if you achieve perfection the first time out, there's no reason to keep trying.
  • Oranges or Apples?  I eat neither these days but when I did, I liked eating apples more than I liked eating oranges but I've always liked orange flavor more than apple flavor.
  • Phobias/Fears?  Trump in 2020.
  • Quote You Like?  "Never attribute to deviousness that which can be explained by incompetence."
  • Reason to Smile?  Two reasons: Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy.
  • Season?  Summer because it doesn't rain much, that's when Comic-Con is and I can go in my pool, swim a few laps one afternoon and fulfill my exercise quota for the year.
  • Tag Three or Four People?  Socrates, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Vivian Vance and Yosemite Sam.  You didn't say they had to be alive, real or readers of this blog.
  • Unknown Fact About Me?  Once in a showroom at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, I was introduced from the stage by David Copperfield and he had me stand up in the audience so the people could applaud me and not one person did.
  • Vegetable You Don't Like?  Any of the ones I'm allergic to because I don't like convulsions and having to go to an Emergency Room.  You wouldn't enjoy that a whole lot either.
  • Worst Habit?  It's a toss-up between starting a new sentence before I've finished a thought and oh, by the way, the vegetable that's really bad for me is asparagus.
  • X-Rays You've Had?  You don't really want to know that.  You're just asking that because you needed an "X" question.
  • Your Favorite Food?  Roast Turkey cooked by someone who doesn't think they can improve plain Roast Turkey with a lot of unnecessary spices, especially the four that Simon & Garfunkel used to sing about.
  • Zodiac Sign?  I'm a Pisces…the sign that's way too smart to believe in Astrology.

From the E-Mailbag…

Rick Glover wrote me to ask…

Reading your peace on Television City reminded me that in the 70s, my wife (then girlfriend) and I would go to Farmers Market for lunch and drop by CBS. In those days, you could ask at the ticket office if any tapings were scheduled for that day.

My first show was Match Game. That was great, but what has stayed with me over the years was that whoever did the warm-up told the audience that Judy Garland had used the studio for her shows. I have always hoped it was true, thinking how one of the greatest performers performed on that tiny stage.

Well, I hate to break it to you but it's not true. Match Game was done on Stage 33, which is probably the most historic stage in the complex. I saw The Red Skelton Show tape in 33. The Carol Burnett Show taped in 33. Since it went on the air, The Price is Right has taped in Stage 33 and a few years ago, it was also dubbed The Bob Barker Stage in honor of You-Know-Who. However, when that show isn't using it, other shows sneak in there. Bill Maher's Real Time is done there on Friday nights. (I worked in there once for a grand total of one day for a Saturday morning series called CBS Storybreak. That's where we taped all the intros with Bob "Captain Kangaroo" Keeshan.)

The Judy Garland Show was done on Stage 43, which is more or less across the hall from 33. These days, The Young and the Restless is in there.

However, here's a comforting thought: Given the vast number of shows that have been done in Stage 33, there were probably very few big stars — at least of those who did any amount of television in the fifties through the eighties — who didn't perform at least once in there. Among the other shows which were in there on occasion were The Jack Benny Program, The Johnny Carson Show, Art Linkletter's House Party, Stump the Stars, Playboy After Dark, The Tim Conway Comedy Hour, The Mary Tyler Moore Hour (her variety show), Mama's Family, Archie Bunker's Place, The $100,000 Pyramid and hundreds of pilots and specials. Judy Garland may even have done something within those hallowed halls.

Today's Video Link

Eric Idle has been on a book tour around the United States, including appearances at halls where a famous friend interviews him. He did one in Los Angeles last week and I had tickets but was unable to get there. This is the video of the one before it — in Seattle with Ryan Stiles as his questioner. I love watching two smart people just talking with no script and no real agenda. Idle wasn't even trying to sell his "sortabiography" since everyone in the place got one as part of the ticket price. Just two funny guys talking…

From Beautiful Downtown Burbank

I posted earlier today that the old NBC Studios in Burbank were largely empty, at least the last time I visited there…and so were likely to be demolished soon.  I am embarrassed but also somewhat happy to say I was wrong.  Our pal Rich Fogel informs me that the videogame giant, Blizzard Entertainment, has moved in there and done extensive fixing-up…and the place is now very much active and unlikely to be replaced by a Costco.  That's good to hear…

…but I'm a bit ashamed to admit I didn't know that.  Why?  Because I'm working now for Blizzard.  In fact, I was I in the midst of a script for them ten minutes ago when I got Rich's message.  I should know these things.

Anyway, that's another thing that could become of CBS Television City: Some big company could move in and make it theirs.  But CBS is more in the area where you might want to build a big condo/retailer complex than NBC is.

Bye Bye, Birdie!

Carroll Spinney is stepping down from his roles as Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch on Sesame Street.  What an amazing run the man had, playing not one but two beloved characters for close to half a century.  Here's an article about the peaceful transition of power.

Home Shopping Network

I just read a couple of online posts about the possibility that CBS Television City may be torn down and replaced by condos and retail outlets. Folks were saying things like, "Los Angeles doesn't care about its heritage." I love that studio but let's remember…

  • It's not definite that it's going away, merely likely.
  • If it does, it's not "Los Angeles" deciding to tear it down.  It's CBS deciding they'd rather have the $700 million than that building.
  • And you can care deeply about something but decide you care more about $700 million. I care an awful lot about my house but, hell, I'd let it go for half that amount.
  • Making TV shows is the kind of business where you have to keep upgrading your facilities, bringing in new equipment and technology.  There can come a time when a new building would just plain be more practical.
  • And if it does make more sense to do shows somewhere else, what are you going to do with that building and that parking lot and all that real estate? Just have it sit empty because it represents history to some of us? That wouldn't be very respectful of the facility.

Somewhere in this discussion, we oughta remember that TV production has changed a lot since Television City was built. It was basically erected to do variety shows and game shows — two forms that don't exist much these days. I don't know how it is currently but when I was over there a few years ago, there were several whole stages that were inactive. Bill Maher has been able to do Real Time for HBO there — and before that, Politically Incorrect for ABC — for many years now because CBS Television City has not been filled to capacity with CBS shows.

I've worked and/or poached in all the major network studios in this town and seen many of them go away.  The most magical for me was NBC Burbank back in the seventies.  I could wander around and slip into where they were taping or rehearsing Bob Hope specials, Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In, The Dean Martin Show, The Flip Wilson Show, Hollywood Squares and a half-dozen other game shows, The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson and many others.  Obviously, none of those are there anymore but the point is they weren't replaced by anything comparable.

NBC sold the place off and now it's a private rental facility…a largely vacant rental facility, I believe.  The last time I was over there, the huge department where they once built sets was empty and being used for storage.  I would say a good two-thirds of the studio was empty.  Stage 1, where Mssrs. Hope and Carson taped, was being used to shoot an infomercial.  Eventually, the right offer will come along and they'll tear that building down to build condos and/or a mall and by then, no one will care much.  If that is to be the future of CBS Television City, you might as well bring in the wrecking ball now.

That would not be my first choice.  My first choice would be to see revitalized TV production flourish there and my second would be to see it continue as some sort of TV museum or something relating to the entertainment industry.  I'm just skeptical that anything of that sort can happen and I suspect Bob Barker may outlive The Bob Barker Studio there.

You and I may both miss that studio but if we owned it, I don't think we'd miss it enough to turn down the $700 million.  Why, with your half of it, you could buy my house!

Frosty Reception

On sale today is a new Blu-ray set called the Rankin-Bass Original Christmas Specials Collection. It contains sparkling (I'm told) prints of five TV specials produced by Arthur Rankin Jr and Jules Bass. They are Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town, The Little Drummer Boy and Cricket on the Hearth, along with a documentary on Rankin-Bass plus a number of special features.

I had almost nothing to do with the assembly of this product. I'm somewhere in the documentary and I recorded a commentary track for my favorite of these, Frosty the Snowman. You can order a copy of it at this link.

Just so no one's misled: This is not the first time these specials have been available on home video and I'd wager serious money it will not be the last. When your company owns timeless films like these, Standard Operating Procedure seems to be to put them out…and then a year or three later, you put out a deluxe edition…and a few years later, a gold anniversary edition…and then a few years later, a platinum super-deluxe edition and so on. Each time, you add in more special features and maybe strive for even sharper prints so lovers of the material will feel compelled to upgrade and purchase again what they already own. Also, the mere fact that it's a ***NEW RELEASE!*** seems to get attention and sales and I would imagine better display in retail stores and some online sites.

As I've been quoted as saying elsewhere, the whole working goal of the entire Home Video market seems to be to see how many times they can force me to buy Goldfinger. I have the sneaking suspicion that somewhere at this moment, someone is remaking it in a Lego version just so I'll have to spring for that.

So don't complain to me if you buy this set of Rankin-Bass Christmas Specials and then a few years from now, there's a better set out of Rankin-Bass Christmas Specials. Just be happy you had this one to watch and/or show your kids until a few years from now when the better one is issued. Or the better one a few years after that. Or the better one a few years after that…