Today's Video Link

Before there was YouTube, there was Public Access TV. Here from a 1979 public access broadcast is a half-hour with Mel Blanc. Mel tells the story of how he invented Porky Pig's voice by deciding that a pig's grunts were not unlike a stutter. That's not true. Porky was created as a stuttering pig and originally voiced by a stuttering comedian until Mel was called in to replicate what the previous guy had been doing.

But apart from a few of those, it's a good conversation with a great, talented man. The interviewer is Dennis Tardan, who is still doing interviews, now in podcast form…

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Today's Political Rambling

I think I've written about this before but I'm not that wild about anyone who runs for public office. Never have been, never expect to be. Moreover, I question whether deep down, anyone really is. I think we all select the Least Objectionable Candidate and then having made that decision, we try to convince everyone that he or she is terrific, perfect, sent-by-God, flawless, the best hope of America, a true leader, etc. Often in the process, we convince ourselves of that to some delusional extent.

I can understand how some people preferred George W. Bush over the alternatives at the time but I don't believe that anyone who said he was a great man really thought that. My friends who supported him — I had more than you might think — always seemed to be cringing over the mangled English, the bad economic news, the certainty over so much of the Iraq War that has since been found to be untrue…I could make a very long list.

Time and again, they had to put on brave faces and pretend none of that stuff diminished their respect for Their President. Does anyone think it wouldn't have if it was done by President Gore?

The reverse is just as true. I may well wind up voting for and supporting Hillary Clinton. I think she's a smart woman and I have a certain sympathy for her because I think she's been smeared by fake scandal after fake scandal. But I promise you (and more important, myself) that I'm not going to start cheerleading for her and pretending she's The Best of All Possible Candidates. At best, she or anyone might be The Best of All Candidates Who'll Be On My Ballot. Which is sure not the same thing.

Lately, she reminds me of one of those candidates who if you asked them their position on a vital issue and they were completely honest, they'd say, "I don't know. My advisors haven't finished analyzing the polls yet." Her statement today of opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership Deal doesn't make a whole lot of sense as anything but a vote-getting calculation. It hasn't changed much since an earlier version she supported. This is how she is lately with everything.

Not long ago, one of the worst things you could say about a politician was that he was for something before he was against it…like John Kerry was for the Iraq War before he was against it. That kind of shift was rarely viewed as new enlightenment or changing one's position due to new developments or new information. I could respect it one of those contexts but a lot of folks couldn't. They saw it as wishy-washiness, trying to have it both ways, being willing to say anything to get elected, etc.

These days, we don't even seem to expect our candidates to be consistent. Ben Carson was for some forms of Gun Control before he was against them all. Bernie Sanders was (somewhat) against national marriage equality before he was for it. Donald Trump was probably at some point for everything he's now against and against everything he's now for. The few candidates who haven't done wide U-Turns are all polling at 4% or less.

I don't like any of these people that much. I'm going to vote for whoever won't try to cripple Obamacare and health suppliers like Planned Parenthood, whoever's less likely to pack the Supreme Court with more Scalias, whoever seems less prone to initiate sequels to the Iraq War in Iraq or elsewhere, whoever's not going to slash taxes for the rich and compassion for the poor and so forth. It'll have to be someone who won't play ostrich when anyone utters the words, "Climate Change."

Sure looks like that'll be the Democrat. I'm thinking this election has a lot of twists and turns ahead but the nominee of that party could well be Ms. Clinton.

But I won't get into that trap of thinking she (or he if it's Sanders or Biden) is perfect, wonderful, ideal, etc. And if you're likely to vote for the G.O.P. nominee, you can save yourself a lot of pretending and disappointment by not getting into that trap, either. If there are such people in politics today, the silly (and monetary) demands we place on them pretty much guarantee they won't make it through the gantlet.

Today's Video Link

I never much cared for the cereal, Post Crispy Critters…but I really liked their commercials. That's Sheldon Leonard, of course, as Linus…

Guilty, Guilty, Guilty!

Tomorrow is, amazingly, the 20th anniversary of the O.J. Simpson murder trial. I don't know about you but I came to two pretty firm conclusions after it…

  1. O.J. Simpson murdered Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman, and probably did so exactly as alleged and with no hanky-panky on the part of the police and —
  2. I spent way too much of my life watching this trial and reading about it and talking about it and just thinking about it.

If you disagree with #1, fine. Because of #2, I have no interest in debating any part of #1. I will say though that just as a spectator sport, I found the second trial — the civil one — more interesting.

And the best bit of reporting on that second trial was done for Slate in a series of first-person accounts filed by the Renaissance Man of Show Biz, Harry Shearer. I kinda disagree with Harry that the L.A.P.D. "enhanced" the evidence against Orenthal in order to make sure an obviously-guilty man was convicted. But that aside, Shearer's 36 dispatches offer fascinating insight into our judicial system and the way the media intersects and interferes with it.

Slate still has the pieces up but they're in a format that makes them awkward to read in sequence. I have therefore gone to the trouble — no, no, don't thank me — of compiling links to each chapter so you can read the articles in the right order by clicking on these links…

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31, Part 32, Part 33, Part 34, Part 35, and Part 36.

That I went to the trouble to do this should give you some idea how valuable I think Mr. Shearer's reporting is. The least you can do is go read it.

Today on Stu's Show!

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Today (Wednesday), Stu Shostak welcomes the lovely 'n' gifted Kathy Garver to his microphone.  Kathy was, of course, one of the stars of the popular CBS situation comedy, Family Affair and she went on to do all sorts of TV roles as both an on-camera talent and a voiceover specialist.  It has not always been the easiest life as she describes in her newly-released autobiography, Surviving Cissy.  You can order a copy of it here and you can hear her talk about it today with Stu.  It all should make for an engrossing Stu's Show.

Stu's Show can be heard live (almost) every Wednesday at the Stu's Show website and you can listen for free there. Webcasts start at 4 PM Pacific Time, 7 PM Eastern and other times in other climes. They run a minimum of two hours and sometimes go to three or beyond.  Shortly after a show ends, it's available for downloading from the Archives on that site. Downloads are a paltry 99 cents each and you can get four for the price of three. You'd be cray-cray to pass up this bargain!

Today's Video Link

One of my favorite cabaret performers, Sharon McNight, takes up poetry writing. But she does it the easy way…

The Late Show With…

I pretty much agree with my pal Paul Harris about The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Last night's was a bit weak and the John McCain interview contained everything I don't like about politicians coming on shows like this. But overall, I think Colbert is already better than anyone else currently doing a late night show…

…and I'll go farther than that: I think he's showing the potential to be better than anyone who's ever done a late night show. That's right: Better than Johnny or Dave or Dick or Jay or any of those folks.

I am not predicting anything about ratings because these days, who knows? But the guy is funny and charming and he's as good an ad-libber as any of them. They need to sand off a few more rough edges and he needs to relax more and they still haven't quite figured how the bandleader fits into the proceedings. But the host himself is terrific and he's actually talking to his guests most of the time instead of setting them up for pre-planned speeches.

Goodbye, Mr. Chips!

When Chick-Fil-A came to be viewed as a company supporting right-wing causes, a lot of people urged the boycotting of the business…and Mike Huckabee ran rallies in support of it and denounced the boycotts as "economic terrorism."

Well now, Frito-Lay has an alliance with the It-Gets-Better Project, which helps kids cope with anti-gay bullying. Guess who is now calling on all Christians to boycott Frito-Lay products.

Vital Orange Cat News

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As some of you may know, I was the Supervising Producer of The Garfield Show, which is seen all over the globe. I'm still not sure what a Supervising Producer supervises but I wrote a lot of the series and directed the voices and did various producer-like chores. We did…well, I'm not sure if I should say four or five seasons. Seasons 1-4 consisted of approximately 26 half-hours each. "Season 5," as they called it, was four 11-minute episodes that could also be described as one four-part story.

The 78 half-hours that comprised Seasons 1-3 have been running for many years in the United States on Cartoon Network and/or Boomerang. Both channels are owned by the same company and they've sometimes run them on one or the other or for a while on both, usually four half-hours a day, seven days a week. They have run these over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

They do quite well in the ratings, which is why they run them over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Though they've had Season 4 and "Season 5" sitting on the shelf for a long time, they haven't aired them because Seasons 1-3 do so well as they run them over and over and over, etc. 4 and 5 have been broadcast all over the world; just not in the U.S. of A.

Right now, the shows from Seasons 1-3 air on Boomerang Monday through Friday at 10 AM, 10:30 AM, 10 PM and 10:30 PM. On the weekends, Boomerang has them at 2 PM, 2:30 PM, 10 PM and 10 PM. These are all Eastern Times I'm giving you.

And starting tonight, there's an additional half-hour every Tuesday night which will be airing the never-before Season 4 and (I think, later on, "Season" 5). This half-hour airs on Boomerang at 8:30 PM Eastern and then the same episodes air at 11:30 PM. Now, here's where it gets complicated…

Each half-hour of The Garfield Show contains two 11-minute episodes. Some of the 11-minute episodes in Season 4 are standalone 11-minute stories and some of them are 11-minute chapters of five-part stories. Tonight, for example, they're airing Part 1 and Part 2 of the five-part story, "The Lion Queen." Next Tuesday, you get Part 3 and Part 4 and then the following Tuesday, you get Part 5 of "The Lion Queen" and…well, I'm not sure. Maybe one of the standalone episodes or maybe Part 1 of another five-parter.

This is not the way I'd have chosen to air the shows but I do want to recommend them to you anyway. These episodes feature some of the best CGI animation I've ever seen on television and I was real happy with how the stories came out. (There are also songs; I wrote the English lyrics for tunes written by others in France.) "The Lion Queen" also has a superb voice cast: Frank Welker, Gregg Berger, Wally Wingert, Jason Marsden, Julie Payne, Fred Tatasciore, Phil LaMarr, Misty Lee, Laraine Newman and Stan Freberg.

I'm not comfy plugging my own work so this is as much as I'll say now. I hope you enjoy them and I hope one of these days soon, they run all five parts of a five-parter, one right after the other. I really like them that way.

Pumping Up

This is from May 9, 2010. I happened to read it again today and thought you might enjoy it again…

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Yesterday afternoon, I went to Costco for lunch and had a nice feast of Costco dim sum. That's what I call the copious free samples you can get there, wandering from aisle to aisle, taking little noshes from ladies in hairnets. The teriyaki chicken bites were so good, I doubled around for seconds, hoping the hairnet lady wouldn't recognize me and yell, "Hey, one to a customer, sport!" I could eat very well at Costco for free if I could just figure how to get out of that place without spending $300 on a lifetime supply of baking soda.

Then I replenished my car — thirsty from the long shlep to and from Riverside — with Costco gas…and got to thinking. We used to buy gas in this country based, at least in part, on the premise that one brand was better than another. I had the idea, and I'm not sure where I got it, that my old Buick Skylark ran well with Shell or 76, not so well with Chevron or Texaco. To this day, I'll sometimes bypass Chevron for Shell…and I don't even have that car anymore, nor any reason to suspect my current auto cares.

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Of course, that preference is only exercised when the two brands are close to the same price. I'm wondering what percentage of Americans take anything else into account except price and maybe which station is easiest to get in and out of. A distant third might be the business practices of the company. I forget which outrage it was — the Valdez spill, maybe — but I stopped buying Exxon a long time ago. I've only purchased Exxon gas once since then. It was a time when I was in a strange and desolate area, the needle was hovering around "E" and the Exxon station looked like the only option for miles. So I bought there but I still felt like I was reneging on a sacred vow.

Oil companies used to advertise heavily that their brand was better for your car…their gas had certain additives that let it run cleaner, longer, happier. They still do a little of that advertising but my sense now is that some don't advertise much, and those that do put the main emphasis on saying, not exactly in these words, that their company isn't destroying the planet quite as rapidly as others. BP, it always seemed to me, sold nothing much beyond the same gas and the notion that they were somehow greener than their competition. (The station near me used to actually give away flower seeds.) I would imagine that a lot of the money they'll wind up spending on the clean-up of the Gulf Coast will be diverted into an attempted clean-up of their reputation.

As I was pumping my vehicle full of Costco gas, I realized I had no idea what kind of gas it was, where it comes from, how good it might be for my car. Since I don't think Costco owns any oil wells, they must buy it from other companies…probably whoever will give them the best deal that month. It could be Exxon for all I know but I prefer to think it's just Costco gas. It's cheap and that's all that really matters.

My father would have loved Costco gas. In fact, he would have just plain loved Costco. He was a very generous man. If I asked for something, I got it. This was, of course, because I was prudent enough to never ask for anything he couldn't afford…but the point is that he didn't balk. "My son wants it? Fine." That was the attitude. Same deal if my mother wanted anything. But beyond that, he was very frugal, sometimes illogically so. I guess that was the case with a lot of folks who grew up in the Great Depression (the last one) and never in their later lives got near any standard of affluence.

I'm recalling when gas was around 29.9. This was in the sixties. 29.9 was a common price but out in Venice, about a seven mile drive from our house, there was a station that was always a penny cheaper. If gas was 29.9 down the street from us, it was 28.9 at this one place in Venice. My father used to drive out there — make a special trip — just to fill the tank on his old Oldsmobile Cutlass.

I guess I thought I was helping when I pointed out how silly this was. The car held 20 gallons…and of course, he didn't wait 'til it was bone dry to fill up. He went when it was down to about a quarter-full, so the most he could save was around fifteen cents. From that, you had to subtract the cost of the gasoline consumed by driving out to Venice and back. I figured it out once and he was getting 13-15 miles to the gallon so deduct a penny. He was spending about ninety minutes, the length of the journey, to save fourteen cents. If you factored in wear and tear on the car, maybe twelve.

My father was not paid well at his job but his time was worth a lot more than eight cents per hour. Heck, he paid a kid down the block two bucks an hour to mow our lawn. But he could somehow not get over the idea that it was worth 90 minutes of his life to drive to the station in Venice. He kept telling me that if he paid 29.9, he was being played for a sucker.

I learned many things from my father, mostly having to do with common decency and compassion and honesty and avoiding pointless angers and tensions. And then there were those lessons I learned by observing him and making up my own mind to not follow some example. His kind of False Economy was one of the these. There are expenditures I don't make because I'd feel like a sucker but they're for a lot more than fourteen cents…or even the present-day equivalent adjusted for inflation. As a freelance writer for (now) going on 41 years, I've learned to value my time as well as my money. I feel like I'm doing right by both when I go to Costco…getting good prices but also stocking-up on supplies so as to save myself frequent trips to the market.

As I said, my father would have loved the chain. Similar stores were around when he passed away and I don't know why he never went to one. Come to think of it, I don't know why I'm writing about my father on Mother's Day…or why Costco made me think of him when I was there, in part, to buy crates of things my mother needs. Maybe it was because he was always buying her what she needed and now I have that responsibility. In any event, remind me on Father's Day to write about my mother. Just to balance things out.

The Quality of Mercy

California is about to become the fifth state in the U.S. to allow terminally ill patients to legally end their lives using doctor-prescribed drugs. For reasons I've mentioned here before, I think this is a good thing. My mother, who died three years ago yesterday, would probably have availed herself of such drugs if her health had gotten any worse without being fatal. She was miserable the last few months and had no hope of getting "better enough" to do anything she wanted to do. All she had ahead was more pain and more hospital stays and more guilt about how much of my time and energy she was consuming. I didn't mind the time and energy but she minded it a lot and it added to her pain. This exit strategy should be available to all.

Today's Video Link

I'm still kinda annoyed/horrified over that Congressional hearing over Planned Parenthood I watched last week. It really was a festival of Republicans firing loaded (and sometimes factually-challenged) accusations at the organization's president and then doing everything possible to not let her answer.

I know there are people out there who think such tactics are understandable and even laudable. They've gotten it into their heads that to eliminate Planned Parenthood is to eliminate abortion and that lying about the institution is the lesser evil. But if you want to make that comparison, you need to also factor in the number of women who will suffer or even die without Planned Parenthood. Seth Meyers has more on that hearing…

From the E-Mailbag…

Andreas Eriksson saw this posting of a Marx Brothers impersonation in Sweden and sent me this…

It's not often that something Swedish pops up on your website, so why not add some extra info when I can:

That guy playing Groucho is actor Ola Forssmed. The play is a loose adaptation of Animal Crackers, so Forssmed is actually playing Captain Spaulding (Kapten Spoling in the Swedish translation). "Harpo" is seen briefly in the background, he is played by Eva Rydberg (yes, a woman) who also is the manager of the summer theatre where this show was performed in 2007. Chico was also in the show, played by Kim Sulocki.

The show is available on DVD, but not with English subtitles.

That's a shame because several folks wrote to ask if any translations were available and just how the Brothers Marx survived being imported into another language and culture. We already established that the real Groucho is not as funny in Spanish and we once had a video link — I think it's defunct now — that proved the same for German. But when someone is writing for the brothers in another country, what must that be like?

Harpo presumably can survive anything, even a sex change. Chico, I guess, would be simple but for the malaprops. I mean, I assume it's just as easy for a Swedish guy to do a bad Italian accent as it is for a Jewish guy in this country. But Groucho has to be a translator's nightmare. Does anyone out there have more insight into this? And is there a more thankless role for an actor than playing Zeppo in Swedish?

Humor In A Hurry

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If you're anywhere near Los Angeles, this is for you: The new season of Instaplay starts Saturday evening, October 17. What the heck, you may want to know, is Instaplay? Instaplay is an improv troupe — the best I've ever seen and I've seen a lot of improv troupes. They take a suggestion of a title from the live audience and then proceed to make up an entire musical comedy based on that title. The cast consists of George McGrath, Deanna Oliver, Jonathan Stark, Cheri Steinkellner and Navaris Darson, all performing under the expert direction of Bill Steinkellner and singing to the improvised music of Mari Falcone.

They don't do these very often and the theater is very small. So if you're thinking of going, get tickets soon. As you can see, they're very cheap and you get way, way more than you pay for.

TV Funnies – Part 5

These are the last of the fake Gold Key TV comics I whipped up back in 2004. These two ran here April 15 and as you can see, by now I was making them as silly as possible. I don't recall if anyone wrote in to ask where they could secure a copy of the Ed Sullivan Show comic but someone may have. Believe nothing you read below — especially the part about writing in to tell me which other ones you'd like to read about…

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I still have no idea what possessed Western Publishing to put out comic books based on The Ed Sullivan Show and 60 Minutes. A variety show and a news show?

I can almost see the Sullivan comic as they seem to have been interested in Topo Gigio, the little Italian mouse that appeared routinely on Ed's Sunday night variety show. But why did they think the comic book buying public would be interested in a strip about, as the cover says, "Jew Comedian Myron Cohen"? It's six very boring pages of Mr. Cohen just standing there, telling jokes about his relatives. Even at that, it's more entertaining than the three-page story about the plate spinner, the four-page trained seal act or the attempt to re-create in comic book form, a musical number by "British pop singing star Shani Wallis." The Beatles, who are advertised on the cover, appear in only a single-page gag that is really only about Ringo. (His drum set gets lost just before showtime so he winds up playing on the stomach of a tortoise.) Each strip is "introduced" by Ed Sullivan and either the letterer kept screwing up or someone thought it would capture Ed's personality to misspell the names of the acts he's introducing. The art for the comic was produced by the studio of Alberto Giolitti, who was best known for his work on Gold Key's Star Trek comic and Turok, Son of Stone. Giolitti worked in Italy so perhaps they felt he could best capture the essence of Topo Gigio…but he makes Myron Cohen look like a pterodactyl and in the one panel where Ed introduces "sports legend Billie Jean King" in the audience, she looks like George Takei. A very weird comic, indeed.

Even odder is the 60 Minutes comic, the interior of which resembles Gold Key comic books like Twilight Zone, Ripley's Believe It or Not and Boris Karloff's Tales of Mystery but with Mike Wallace and Morley Safer acting as hosts. They narrate allegedly-true crime tales which in the one issue were all written by Leo Dorfman. The three stories were illustrated by Jack Sparling, Jose Delbo and John Celardo.  The most interesting (and least believable) is the first one in which Mike Wallace takes a film crew into an old mansion that is supposedly haunted.  The other two are equally difficult to believe and the only redeeming feature of the comic is the one-pager in the back in which Andy Rooney (drawn by Winslow Mortimer) editorializes on how annoying it is to see TV shows turned into comic books.  The comic that precedes his page proves that pretty conclusively.

That's all I have now.  There are other great Gold Key adaptations and maybe I'll get to some of them one of these days.  If I've missed your favorite, please write and tell me.