Deal Deluxe

Several folks have written to tell me that the new Criterion Blu-ray/DVD set of It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World is at their local Costco for twenty bucks. I was at a Costco on Thursday and didn't see it…but they also didn't have those great Bill Bailey corned beefs that I like to buy and cook in my crockpot. Hope they haven't stopped carrying them.

The Mad World set is the one for which I and two friends recorded a very, very long commentary track. Well, we had to. It's a very, very long movie. If you can't get to a Costco or your local one doesn't have it, you can still order a copy here for — at the moment — $30.37. If you do find it at a Costco, you can save ten bucks and put it towards the purchase of a Bill Bailey corned beef…or a bottle of Worcestershire Sauce that could fill a mid-sized lap pool.

Carla Laemmle, R.I.P.

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Carla Laemmle played the prima ballerina in the 1925 film of The Phantom of the Opera and she played the secretary who delivered the first line of dialogue in the 1931 classic, Dracula. She appeared in a number of other silent films and then in a few talkies before retiring from acting. She didn't appear in another movie until Pooltime in 2010 and she recently did a small part in a horror film that will be coming out later this year. So we're talking about a career that spanned 89 years.

She was born October 20, 1909, the niece of Carl Laemmle, one of the founders of Universal Pictures…so she was 104 when she passed away last night. I met her two or three times at autograph shows in the last decade or so and got to speak with her. I didn't learn much from her but there was still a thrill there to "connect" with so much history…especially since we are very close to the day when there will be no one alive from the silent era.

O.J. Nostalgia

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Last night, I watched a TV special recounting the O.J. Simpson Murder Case.  Those two people he killed were killed twenty years ago yesterday and an awful lot in this country changed because of that.  One thing that hasn't changed is that there are still absolutely no suspects or even semi-credible theories as to who dunnit if he didn't.

The documentary was composed of news footage offered without comment…or any visible agenda in the selection or editing.  Watching all that tape now, I was struck by how flimsy the case for Simpson was from Day One.  I was also fascinated by the video of people who celebrated when he was acquitted.  They were mostly black and I absolutely understand the joy you might have over such a verdict if you believed that the legal system in this country is rigged against People of Color.  I also understand how you could believe that.  I would love to know how many of those folks really thought he was innocent and if any still do.  I seem to recall some of the jurors later admitting they now had doubts and at least one declaring, "He probably did it but we were supposed to judge the case put before us and that case was not proven."

I started to write a piece for the blog here today about all this, then realized I already did.  Here's what I wrote here in 2010

Today marks fifteen years since O.J. Simpson was found Not Guilty of two murders that most of us think he committed. There's no doubt whatsoever in my mind. I got hooked on the case and read most of the books and watched most of the shows, though my mind has since jettisoned much of what I learned. I have a terrific memory but every so often, it thinks the way you do when you go to your Public Storage locker and you look at some crates and go, "Why am I saving that crap?" And out it goes. I'm kinda fascinated by how little I now recall of a story that I used to know so well, I could informally but authoritatively debate it at length with friends. I don't think I could have some of those debates today…but I do remember vividly winning every argument with someone who thought O.J. hadn't done it. My opponents didn't always admit I was right, of course…but you could tell they knew.

The folks who didn't think Simpson had hacked two human beings to death generally didn't know much about the case and 0% of them had an alternate theory supported by any evidence whatsoever. You'd say to them, "Well, if he didn't do it, who did?" And they'd mutter something about, well, maybe it was Colombian Drug Lords. Any evidence of that? Well, no. At the time of Simpson's acquittal, some of his lawyers and defenders promised a huge book would be forthcoming that would tell what really happened, who really killed Nicole and Ron.

You seen that book? Me neither and it's been fifteen years.

It isn't just that no one involved in the case can prove who really killed them if it wasn't Simpson. It's that no one involved in the case seems to be able to even make up a possible scenario as to who killed them if it wasn't Simpson. They can't even fabricate a story that sounds remotely plausible and isn't disproven by half the evidence. At least with the Kennedy Assassination, those who didn't want to accept the official explanation managed to offer some alternate names and narratives. I've never even heard anyone who believes the kind of vague, evidence-deprived theories that Simpson himself has put out there.

I do understand how some people just plain don't want to believe what everyone else believes. Questioning the Conventional Wisdom is usually a good thing…but refusing to ever believe the Conventional Wisdom just because others do is a great way to be wrong a lot of the time. I have this friend who buys into every single conspiracy theory about everything. It's automatic. I've said to her, "You know, if I pulled out a gun right now and shot you and you saw me do it and you survived…and if the police came and asked who'd shot you, you'd say, 'It could have been anyone except Mark Evanier!'" Some of those who don't think O.J. dunnit are in that category. Some also have such a deep, perhaps justified distrust of police that they automatically assume all arrests are false and all evidence is fabricated. And you also have those who sort of like the idea of a black guy getting away with murder and seeing so many white folks sputter about the injustice. These are the "taste of your own medicine" people.

I've talked to a number of these people, though not lately. There was a time I couldn't go to a party or other gathering without meeting one and having the subject erupt. I also met a number of people who took the wishy-washy, safe-from-all-directions position. They thought O.J. did it but that the police framed him anyway, either because they knew he'd done it and wanted to enhance the case…or because they (wrongly) didn't think he did it and just wanted to nail that uppity you-know-what. For what little it's now worth, I came to the conclusion that none of that happened except the part about Simpson killing those two people. I think all of the evidence of "framing" was either out of the whole cloth or built on some innocent mistake made by the police or prosecutors. And I suspect that if you turned a bright-enough spotlight on most major arrests in this country, you could find similar mistakes.

Something changed in this country the morning of the verdicts. We suddenly had a lot less faith in our judicial system. Everyone did or should have. I mean, if you thought Simpson was guilty, then the system had failed because it let a double-murderer go off to play golf. If you thought he was innocent, then the system had failed in a different way. An innocent man had spent a long time behind bars and had to spend his life's savings to hire skilled-enough lawyers (lawyers you could never afford) to prove that innocence. It's interesting how some opinions on the Death Penalty have changed since then. Before that verdict, those who championed the frying of convicted murderers were fierce in their insistence that no innocent person had ever been executed in these United States. I think the Simpson verdict caused a lot of them to drop that argument from their arsenal. After all, if a murderer could be acquitted, that makes it pretty credible that an innocent guy could be convicted. The widespread use of DNA testing since then has further weakened the belief that anyone who's found guilty is undeniably guilty…and of course, there's that irony there. The Simpson case is where most people learned of DNA testing…and now they believe it even though the jury in the Simpson case didn't.

That morning fifteen years ago, I was having a brick patio built in my backyard. I made a deal with a contractor and he brought in a crew of gentlemen I suspect were all or mostly undocumented aliens. I can admit this because I'm unlikely to ever run for governor of California. They were the kind of men you see hanging around outside Home Depot or a Public Storage facility hoping to get a day's work. The contractor may have gotten them from one of those places.

I invited the crew in to watch the verdict when it was announced on TV. I thought they shouldn't miss that moment of history and I guess I was curious about their reaction, whichever way it went.

When Simpson was declared Not Guilty, they all kind of shrugged. They were grateful I'd let them see it but I don't think the actual verdict mattered much to them. One said, "That's good." And then he explained that his neighborhood had been decimated by rioting during the not-that-long-ago Rodney King verdict in Los Angeles. He was afraid that if Simpson was convicted, it would prompt another such riot but beyond that, he didn't care. None of them cared. None of them thought the courts and police were fair to people in their ethnic group and income level, undocumented or not. To them, Simpson wasn't even a minority. He was just another guy with more money and more success than any of them would ever see…and what happened in his world did not relate to theirs. They assumed the guy was guilty and that that's how The System processes a guilty guy who's rich 'n' famous.

I said something like, "Well, maybe this will wake some people up to the problem." I was the only one in the room who thought that was remotely possible. The workers all thanked me and went back to laying bricks.

I think they were wrong. I told you up above what I think did change. It hasn't necessarily trickled down from folks recognizing a problem to anyone actually fixing that problem…but I don't think we're so quick now to assume that when the police say "We got the guy" that they got the guy or that a jury verdict settles the question. I know I'm not.

Okay, now we're back in real time and I'll add one more thing.  Today, Orenthal James Simpson lives at the Lovelock Correctional Center near Reno, Nevada.  He's eligible for parole in 2017 and there's a "buzz" that he may get out then.  I hope not.  Not only would it be a miscarriage of justice for that guy to be roaming the streets and the golf courses again but I'm just plain sick of him.  I don't even want to think about him again until the 25th anniversary…and then only for long enough to consider what, if anything, has changed in the world.  That's about all he's good for.  I do know that there still won't be an alternate theory of who killed those people if he didn't.

Today's Video Link

It's Friday the Thirteenth but don't fret. If things go bad, you can just tap your troubles away…

This song by Jerry Herman was written for the Broadway show Mack and Mabel and it's performed here by Anna-Jane Casey and the John Wilson Orchestra. Wilson is the guy who looks like Stephen Colbert…

Loose End

A few weeks ago, I told you here and here of my problems with Time-Warner e-mail. I wish I could report that things have gotten better but they haven't and I lack the time/strength to get back on the phone to them.

To refresh your memory: When someone writes to me at one of my addresses at one of my domains, the message is instantly forwarded to my Time-Warner account and I pick it up from there. What I did as a workaround was to open a Yahoo e-mail account and have my messages sent there also. So I pick up my e-mail messages from Time-Warner and I pick them up from Yahoo…and they should arrive in both inboxes at the same time, give or take a second or three. The Yahoo messages all show up instantly for me to download, read and maybe answer.

What about the copies that go simultaneously to my Time-Warner account? Well, roughly 80% of them come in promptly. Approximately 18% show up here somewhere between an hour and twelve hours after the copies of the same messages that come to me via Yahoo.

The remainder do not show up at all…and it isn't because of differences between the Spam filters at Yahoo and Time-Warner. Their filters do flag different messages (Yahoo had to be taught to send me my banking statements) but I check both Spam filters.

Anyway, I've given up trying to get this fixed. If and when it fixes itself, I'll let you know. For now, I'll just get my e-mail from two separate sources, delete the dupes and hope that between the two accounts, I get at least once copy of each.

Catwoman Meets Elfqueen

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One of my favorite moments from the Phoenix Comicon was visiting with the lovely Julie Newmar, who continues to amaze all with her age-defying existence. When I was much younger, I — being male — appreciated Julie mainly for her jaw-dropping beauty…and certainly there was plenty there to appreciate. Eventually though, I came to realize that she was also a darned good actress in both serious roles and comedic, and as I've gotten to know her, I've discovered that she's pretty smart, too. It is rare to find all those gifts in one package.

She was brought in as a guest of the con and I was going to stop by on Friday and say howdy but I think the end of the line was somewhere in Scottsdale. People across a wide range of ages were queueing up to meet her and get an autograph, and the wait was long enough without me going up and distracting her from greeting and signing. Saturday though, a friend told me there was a brief lull there so I scurried over and spoke with her and met her brother who was assisting (I guess) with crowd control as there were usually crowds there that required controlling.

It dawned on me that another friend of mine who was at the con had told me it was a long-held dream to meet Ms. Newmar so I went and fetched Wendy Pini. You know Wendy, the beloved artist and, along with her partner/mate Richard, creator of Elfquest. I've known Wendy for over forty years…since before she met Richard, even. She is also quite lovely and smart…and lately doing things besides Elfquest. Check out the graphic novel/webcomic, Masque of the Red Death if you are of age.

So I went and asked Richard if I could borrow Wendy for a minute. He was good with it so I took her over to introduce her to Julie…and it was an instant mutual admiration society between the ladies — especially later when Ms. Pini presented Ms. Newmar with a copy of the Masque of the Red Death graphic novel. Julie thought it was wonderful.

Julie even hauled out her own camera and had someone take the above photo of the three of us — me surrounded by two fabulous babes. I wish Carolyn had been with me so I could have made it three…but she was back home working on the forthcoming Volume Three of The Complete Pogo. After that book goes to press, maybe I can take the three of them to dinner and look even classier.

Today's Bonus Video Link

I enjoyed this conversation between Jerry Seinfeld and David Letterman. It's Dave interviewing Jerry about the latter's Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee series. What struck me is that Dave actually seems to be enjoying the conversation. I don't think anything drove me away from his talk show more than the sense that he was bored with most of his guests.

He mentions in the interview that he's looking for a job. I'd sure like to see him do a weekly hour where he just chats with someone he finds interesting.

Today's Video Link

Here's the premise: Richard Dunn was stuck all night in the Las Vegas Airport so what did he do? He made a music video. It's a clever, well-made piece of work.

But I have to wonder…how is it that anyone is stuck all night in the Las Vegas Airport? Vegas is an all-night city with cheap lodging. Downtown on a weeknight, there are several decent hotels with rooms for $25 a night. For under $100, you could take a cab down there, stuff yourself with food, sleep in a real bed and grab a shower, stuff yourself with more food and take a cab back to the airport.

If you don't have that kind of money, you could take a public bus to one of the big casinos, sit around there all night, watch some free entertainment, have an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet at one of several hotels, put one $2 bet on a roulette wheel and then take the bus back to the airport…for under twenty bucks.

Or you could hang around a deserted airport and make a music video…

Recommended Reading

A little while ago, Albert Brooks tweeted, "When can we officially say that going into Iraq was the worst idea the country has ever had?"

I don't think anyone in power will ever say that unless they can blame it on their political opponents…and withstand the charges of being anti-military for claiming all those soldiers died or were maimed for no good reason. But Fred Kaplan does have a good explanation of what's been happening over there lately.

Mark Vs. The Telephone Solicitors – The Latest Chapter

About five minutes ago, a pleasant-sounding lady called me…

HER: Mr. Evanier, I'm Brenda with the Los Angeles Home Improvement Center. You spoke to me last October about improvements you wished to make on your home.

ME: No, I didn't.

HER: Oh, yes you did. You spoke to me and said you'd be ready to make those improvements about now and that I should call you back.

ME: No, I didn't. We never spoke. You're lying to me.

HER: If you'd just give us a chance to give you a free estimate…

ME: How can I trust a free estimate from someone who lies to me? You could tell me it'll cost $14.00 to build me a new garage and then I agree to it and you build it and hand me a bill for seventy kazillion dollars.

HER: We wouldn't do that…

ME: You started our relationship by lying to me. You told me your name was Brenda and then you lied about us speaking last October. You want to prove you're trustworthy? Tell me this. Is your name really Brenda?

HER: No, it isn't.

ME: See? First thing out of your mouth was a lie. And you're also not very bright because you're spending all this time talking to someone who obviously isn't going to let your lying company come over and give me a free estimate. Go call someone else on your list and tell them you spoke to them last October and they said to call back now.

HER: Goodbye.

I'm really starting to enjoy this.

My Latest Tweet

  • Eric Cantor is suddenly showing concern for the plight of the unemployed this morning.

Today on Stu's Show!

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Today, Stu Shostak welcomes a real writer to this program; not like that clown he had on last week. My pal Phoef Sutton got his start writing for Cheers — that's pretty impressive — and later worked for Newsradio, Boston Legal, The Naked Truth, Bob and many more. He's a smart, talented guy with much to say about those shows and the television business. Don't miss this one.

Stu's Show can be heard live (almost) every Wednesday at the Stu's Show website and you can listen for free there and then. Webcasts start at 4 PM Pacific Time, 7 PM Eastern and other times in other climes. They run a minimum of two hours and sometimes go to three or beyond. Then shortly after a show concludes, it's available for downloading from the Archives on that site. Downloads are a measly 99 cents each and you can get four for the price of three. It's the best deal in cyberspace apart from all the free porn.

Dave, We Hardly Knew Ye

Joe DeLillo speaks with some of David Letterman's former writers about his legacy.

My friend Tracy Abbott (herself, a former writer for Dave and also for Jay) sent me this article and asked what I thought of it. I was a huge fan of Dave on NBC, a lesser fan of his early CBS shows…and I've rarely watched him the last ten years or so. I thought he was great for a long time but I also think people tend to praise him for inventing a lot of things that others did before him…and also things for which his writers, including the ones interviewed for this article, deserve serious credit.

One reason Dave's early shows seemed so revolutionary is the unavailability of the talk show that Steve Allen did for the Westinghouse company from 1962 to 1964. If ever a program turned that format on its head, it was that one. Not only did you never know what was going to happen on it, it was obvious that Steve rarely knew. I have a strong belief that whenever someone next "reinvents" the talk show, they'll be doing something very much like what Mr. Allen did fifty years ago, especially the last months of that series.

Speaking of the uniqueness of Letterman in the article, Gerry Mulligan asks, "Who knew the name of Jack Paar's stage manager? Also, the whole idea of letting the home audience see the internal workings of the show — taking the camera into the green room, the control room, even the show's offices." That wasn't the modus operandi of Mr. Paar but Steverino did all that, including making his stage manager a character on the show.

The stage manager was named Johnny Wilson. If the producers thought an interview was getting dull, they sometimes sent Wilson out to hit Steve Allen with a pie that Steve didn't know was coming. No one on Letterman's staff would dare do anything Dave didn't know was coming. (This, by the way, is all my opinion. I didn't discuss this with Tracy.)

On one episode — and this was planned — Wilson hit Steve with a shaving cream pie. Then Steve pied him back. Then Wilson fled into the audience where every person had been supplied with a plastic raincoat and a couple of pies to throw at the stage manager and at each other. It was quite an amazing moment in television history.

I have heard that all or most episodes of this series still exist and that the Steve Allen estate is sitting on them, waiting for the right moment to market them. If this is so, I wish that right moment would come soon. You'd see an awful lot of things that Carson, Leno, Letterman and others later did…and an awful lot of things they would never in a billion years do, mostly involving putting the star on the spot to do something slightly dangerous. Or, scarier, to ad-lib.

Here's a 16 minute segment from that series featuring a then-unknown musician named Frank Zappa. The show had a much more leisurely pace than might feel right today but note how Steve was utterly unprepared for the spot. As was done often, the show's announcer, Johnny Jacobs, brought on the guest and introduced him, not only to the audience but to the host. Steve Allen apparently knew little about it before: No pre-interview, no questions or jokes on cards, etc. Today, that would all be planned out and even rehearsed…