I assume you're all watching Last Week Tonight with John Oliver but I couldn't resist linking to this. I thought it was just so damn perfect…

A lot of folks have written to ask me what's up with my Time-Warner e-mail problems, the ones I wrote about back here. Here's a quick summary of what's not working right…

Any e-mail that anyone sends to me @ one of my domains goes to a server on my domain which instantly forwards it on to a GMail account I have and to my Time-Warner e-mail account. I've already been using a great program called MailWasherPRO to go online and give me a preview of my e-mail before I download it so I can mark and delete Spam or obviously infected messages. I have it now set to go online and simultaneously download the headers and a sample of each message in both the GMail mailbox and the Time-Warner mailbox.

If both were working perfectly, I would be getting two copies of every message. That's apart from the fact that the list of messages GMail thinks are Spam and moves to my Spam folder there varies slightly from the list of messages Time-Warner thinks are Spam and relocates in my Spam folder over there. But just looking at the messages I want to download, those should be the same.

They aren't. Sometimes, my mailboxes on Time-Warner and GMail receive the same messages within moments of each other. Sometimes, the Time-Warner version doesn't show up until hours later. And sometimes, the Time-Warner version doesn't show up at all. (And yes, I've checked. That's not because it goes into the Spam folder and I do not have any filter turned on that is causing this.)

In the week I've been monitoring this, I have yet to see the opposite happen. GMail is getting everything Time-Warner gets but Time-Warner is not getting everything GMail gets. And when they do both receive the same message, GMail gets it at the same time or before — often way before.

Allegedly, Time-Warner Tech Support is looking into this but I've decided that even if they say it's fixed or it seems to be fixed, I ain't taking any chances. I'm going to keep getting my messages from both sources. It's a simple matter to use MailWasher to delete the dupes and then download one of each into my e-mail program, which is Mozilla Thunderbird. Thunderbird has an add-on that will scan for duplicates in case I miss any.

And that's the latest. I'll let you know if anything changes but I'd be very surprised if anything changes.

In the eighties, there was a war of competing hamburger chains: Fuddrucker's versus Flakey Jake's. I liked them both but slightly preferred the latter, particularly the Flakey Jake's on the northwest corner of the intersection of Pico and Sepulveda in West Los Angeles.

The premise of both chains was simple. They sold pretty good hamburgers, a notch above McDonald's and Burger King at a correspondingly (but not exorbitant) price. They both had other menu items but you went there for the burgers, which were served on a bun cooked on the premises in their own bakery. The bakery also made cinnamon buns and other goodies which you could purchase to take home.

One thing I liked about them was the "dress-it-yourself" bar that I first encountered at Woody's Smorgasburger, which has become the major topic of this site. You got your burger nude and you carried it over to an area where they had ketchup and mustard and onions and lettuce and tomato and cheese sauces and other toppings. The hamburgers at Flakey Jake's were pretty darned good and I ate at the Pico-Sepulveda one often.

The two chains were in fierce competition to open up new locations across the country — some company-owned, some franchised. In a few cases, they competed head-to-head: There'd be a Flakey Jake's literally across the street from a Fuddrucker's. Fuddrucker's also sued Flakey Jake's charging "infringement of trade dress" (copying its format) and then Flakey Jake's counter-sued Fuddrucker's charging "restraint of trade" and in '82, they settled out of court on undisclosed terms.

Around this time, Flakey Jake's, which had been founded by a Seattle-based seafood restaurant chain, sold out to Frank Carney (co-founder of Pizza Hut) and a group of investors. Apparently, they couldn't make a go of it. Before long, all the Flakey Jake's closed…or seem to have closed. Fuddrucker's, meanwhile, continues to thrive and currently has around 200 outlets across the U.S. — few of them, I'm afraid, in areas where I travel. I'm curious why one chain succeeded and the other didn't because they were, after all, pretty much the same thing

A number of folks have written to inform me that a complete DVD set of Welcome Back, Kotter, a show I once worked on, is coming out in August. One wrote they were going to buy it in order to put some money in my pocket. I appreciate the sentiment and if you want to own a complete DVD set of Welcome Back, Kotter, don't let me stop you. In fact, here's an Amazon link to pre-order. But sending bucks my way, though a laudable goal, is a very bad reason in this case.

Years ago when home video was just starting to segue from taping your favorite shows off the air to the purchasing of pre-recorded cassettes, the Hollywood unions made a series of very bad deals to cover our share of those revenues. Actually, the Writers Guild made a very good deal when most folks didn't guess where the market was headed and then in '85, the producers made it a strike issue that we had to give that deal back and take a much worse deal. A group of "visionary" members within our guild, some of whom I suspect were bribed to do so, led a movement to fold and accede to the producers' demands. They managed to somehow convince a lot of their fellow members that —

1. There was no money to be made in videocassettes (this was before DVDs), especially in releasing TV shows that way. No one would ever pay for episodes of M*A*S*H or Star Trek or any television series and there wasn't any cash there and not that much in tapes of motion pictures. Ergo, it was foolish for us to turn down the offer and go on a prolonged strike for, essentially, nothing.
2. There was so much money to be made in videocassettes that the studios wouldn't hesitate to crush us rather than cut us in. They'd keep us out on strike for years if they had to and we'd all lose our homes and our pets would starve and eventually we would too and the Guild would collapse and we'd better take their offer and save ourselves.

Now obviously, those two views are mutually exclusive. If one is true, the other is not. But somehow, the "no strike" faction of our guild managed to convince some members of one, others of the other, and a lot of writers of both. If this seems impossible to you, you're obviously not familiar with the Writers Guild of the eighties. It's a much saner organization these days.

So even if I'd worked on all 95 episodes — which I did not — and if this DVD set sold hundreds of thousand of copies — which it will not — I wouldn't see a lot of dough. And I'll let you in on a secret: If you buy the set and watch all 95 episodes, you'll see a lot more of them than I ever did.

I hope none of this sounds bitter. I think my guild did a very, very stupid thing…though they had a lot of assistance from other Hollywood labor organizations. But I only bring it up every now and then in the spirit of remembering the past so we don't make the same screw-ups in the future. I'm not mad about it…and though I couldn't wait for my job on Kotter to be over, I still look back on it fondly. It was an exciting, positive experience even if it wasn't exactly what I wanted to do with my life. Between now and the time the DVD set comes out, I'll try and write a few posts here about that chapter of my silly career.

Greg — I don't know his last name — is an Australian who has a series of cooking videos on YouTube. A lot of them are perfect for a guy like me who barely knows the basics…and you may enjoy how enthusiastic he is about his craft. Here, he teaches you how to replicate the cheese toast they serve at Sizzler restaurants…

Michael Kinsley on the state of newspapers in America.

Kinsley is one of my favorite columnists, though he seems to write two or three columns for some magazine or website, then disappear, then reappear somewhere else. Some of this probably has to do with his ongoing battle with Parkinson's Disease (written about here). He's written some excellent pieces about how insane it is to block stem-cell research — which could help millions of people, himself included — because the process vaguely reminds some people of abortion. He's hard to find but usually worth the hunt.

If you're not going to be concerned about Global Warming, you could at least show a little trepidation at the ever-growing size of Godzilla.

Joe Conason reminds us of a certain amount of heroism on the part of Monica Lewinsky. There was enormous pressure on this woman to lie and say her relationship with Bill Clinton was not consensual and/or that she'd been instructed to lie about it to authorities. They did everything short of waterboarding her to get her to endorse the narrative of those who were out to get Clinton…and she refused. A lot of folks would not have had that courage.

As I mentioned here last December, Shout Factory is bringing out a DVD set of appearances, many of them quite obscure, that the Marx Brothers made on television. It's being assembled by my pal Robert Bader — in fact, he's the one who told me about it — and he does real good DVDs that we all must own.

Recently at a Marx Brothers festival, he and Dick Cavett discussed the set and gave the crowd a little preview. That presentation is discussed here.

Now, this is the point where I'd usually post an Amazon link so you can pre-order it. Here it is but before you click, read the following. You probably don't want to order it from Amazon. If you order from Shout Factory, you get four discs of Groucho, Harpo and Chico cavorting, individually and collectively, on television. You get the same three-disc set Amazon is selling plus you get a bonus disc.

As I post this, the price for the 3-disc set only from Amazon is $37.98. Amazon, of course, has its price guarantee. If there's a lower price by the time it's released (August 12), you get the lower price.

The same set with the bonus disc version can be purchased over on this website and it's currently cheaper ($34.97), plus they're promising delivery a month sooner.

I should probably keep my mouth shut because I get a tiny commission if you order from Amazon via my links, whereas I get bupkis from Shout Factory. But I can't do that to you…not after all we've been through together. So get it from Shout Factory…and don't tell them Groucho sent you because he didn't. It was me.

It's Baby Panda time. Nothing cuter on this planet…

• Dems should boycott the GOP's new Benghazi investigation. But they should promise to be there for next few Benghazi investigations.

Kevin Drum points us to an article that reminds us how Republicans first tried using Benghazi as a club against Obama. Back when it first happened, before anyone knew exactly what was happening, Mitt Romney was rearranging facts so he could use the incident as a campaign issue against the guy he was running against.

I caught a bit of Sean Hannity last week acting horrified at the notion that the Obama Administration "spun" the truth a bit to make themselves look better. Why don't I recall any outrage from Hannity and his crowd over the Bush Administration telling us point-blank that we had to go to war because Saddam had those indisputable Weapons of Mass Destruction? Which statement involved the loss of more American lives and limbs?

I feel like I must have covered this topic before but I just did a search of this blog and didn't spot it. Forgive me if this is a rerun. If it is, I bet I say pretty much the same thing I said the last time because this is a topic about which I've long held strong feelings.

Financial technology continues to improve in this country. I can sit at this here computer and transfer funds between my accounts or to the accounts of others. I can purchase stocks or securities in an instant. I can pay my property tax and my cable bill in five seconds. It's really amazing how rapidly people can now handle financial transactions.

But you know what transaction isn't speeding up? Paying writers.

I have been, as you may be sick of hearing me remind you here, a professional writer since 1969. I have worked for at least four hundred different companies including both publishers and producers, and I would guess that in less than twenty relationships, I have been paid with the same promptness they expect of me in turning in the work.

Matter of fact, a surprising (well, maybe not so surprising) percentage of the time, I find myself working for this kind of operation: They get hysterical at the sheer possibility that my script might be a day late…and then the part where they pay me is done with the attitude of "Hey, we'll get around to it one of these months."

It has never been too bad for me in TV jobs covered by the Writers Guild, especially when I had an agent who didn't get his cut until I got my pay. It has sometimes been very bad in magazine work, comic books and non-WGA animation work…though never on those shows I write about the lasagna-eating cat. Years ago on a panel about comics, someone asked us to list some of the qualities of a good editor. We all talked a lot about wisdom and efficiency and understanding…and I added this one: When your check is late, a good editor doesn't say, "That's some other department. I have nothing to do with that."

I worked for one company where you'd hand in the work and you were lucky if the check got to you before your sample copies of the published book. I asked the head guy there once why they couldn't just set it up so that if we turned in an assignment on Monday morning, someone wrote a check on Monday afternoon — or Tuesday at the latest. He grinned, said that wasn't humanly or otherwise possible, and with a certain glee, launched into an explanation that sounded something like this…

We worked out a very efficient system. When you hand in a script, the assistant editor fills out a blue form which is then initialed by the editor and it goes to our editorial coordinator who assigns a pay number to the job, then sends it down to Beulah in accounting. Assuming Beulah isn't on one of her bi-monthly jaunts to the Barbados, she stamps the blue form then makes out a check requisition form which goes back to the editorial coordinator who verifies the pay number, signs off on the form and then sends it to the outside accounting firm that processes our checks. Every Thursday afternoon at 3 PM, a man named Pedro at the outside firm processes all the check requisition forms he's received in the past week. If one doesn't bear the proper signatures, it of course has to be kicked back to us and made out again but if it does, he enters the data in the computer which prints out the checks downstairs for handling by a woman from Luxembourg named Helena. Helena checks the printed checks against the blue forms which have been sent over separately and if they match, she passes them on to the head of company who stops by every so often between hair transplants to okay the mailing of the checks. Once okayed, the check goes to the mailing room for addressing, which is done every third Monday of the month except for April, August and October when the mailing room closes for internal auditing. Once addressed, the envelopes and checks are matched up and they go to the sealing department where there's a whole staff of people with moist tongues to seal the envelopes, affix the postage and then one of them drops the checks in a mailbox on his or her way home. If they remember.

You can do it that way. Or you could just have one person write and mail a check.

That is a lot more do-able than they admit. When I ran the Hanna-Barbera comic book department in the seventies, I insisted on speedy payment and it was no trouble at all to set that up. I would fill out a little form and drop it off at the payroll department. If I got it in before 2 PM, the check would be ready within an hour. If I got it in after 2 PM, the check would be ready the next day. Some freelancers who worked for us would come in, drop off the work and go home with a check. At worst, they'd receive it by mail in two days.

A number of the artists drawing for us were super-reliable — folks like Paul Norris, Mike Royer and Dan Spiegle. Mike and Dan mailed their work in but Paul usually delivered it in person. I'd put through the form a day or two early and then when he handed me the pages, I'd hand him the check. Or if I hadn't put it through early, he'd come in before lunch, we'd go to lunch and then when we got back to the office, his check was waiting.

We did not do it this way because Paul (or most of our freelancers) desperately needed the check immediately. Most could have waited a week or three without missing a meal or a mortgage payment. It was just a courtesy to the reliable ones, a way of thanking them for delivering on time. It also, I'm quite sure, spurred the semi-reliable ones to be more reliable…and prolific. There was one artist who was drawing for us and also working for Western Publishing on their Gold Key comics and I wanted him to do more for us. He did once he realized how fast we paid. The rates were the same but Western took 2-3 weeks to get him a check.

I don't like being in a position where I'm responsible for people getting paid but when I am, that's how I try to arrange things. When I edited/wrote DNAgents and Crossfire for Eclipse Comics, I paid the artists immediately and then Eclipse paid me after I delivered the finished issue. On The Garfield Show, the cartoon I produce and voice-direct, we record shows on Monday and/or Tuesday. A payroll company out in Burbank prints out the checks on Thursday and messengers them to me for distribution to the actors' agents. Once in a while, an actor who's short on funds will come over and get his or hers that day or I'll have my assistant drive it over to them or their agency. I'm sure in these days, we could even set up direct-deposit if a payee wished it.

Still, when I've suggested this to many animation and comic book companies, I've gotten back looks of horror. "It can't be done," they'd say…and I understand why a few of them said this. They didn't want to pay promptly. They either didn't have a good cash flow or they liked the idea of making another nickel in interest off that money — and that's about how much they could make — by keeping it in the bank another week or two before paying it out. There was one publisher who seemed to like the sense of subservience (he obviously thought) it instilled in writers.

Mostly though, they just don't seem to think it matters. "People are clamoring to work for us," one animation producer said when I suggested same-day checks. Well, it matters to the folks getting the check. It also seems to improve accuracy to have the money paid immediately without passing through a dozen hands and departments.

It especially matters (and would help) if you were running a small, new publishing firm. Writers and artists like working for big, established outfits because they figure that, no matter what happens, the money will be there. You may not be paid for a few weeks but you'll be paid. It's tough to write or draw something if you're nervous that isn't going to happen; that by the time you hand it in to the company, there won't be any company. A small company could counter that worry to a large extent by being super-prompt with payments. I wish more of them would try it. I wish everyone would pay writers more promptly because, damn it, we deserve it. Some of us, anyway.

Ten minutes with Jon Oliver…

Okay, so Stephen Colbert will do his last Colbert Report on December 17 and then some time in January, that slot will be filled by The Minority Report starring Daily Show correspondent Larry Wilmore. This will reportedly be in the format of a panel show, though scripted. All right. That could work. Wilmore's a pretty funny guy.

Before anyone asks what will fill the time between the last Colbert program and the first Wilmore offering, I would guess Comedy Central will use that plum spot to showcase some of their other shows…or maybe rerun old Colbert Reports. They may not even have decided that yet.

They haven't announced yet when Colbert will replace Letterman but I'll give you a guess: My birthday.

Letterman's last few weeks figure to attract mucho viewers. So will Colbert's first shows as people tune in to see what he's going to do. If CBS had some huge event like the Olympics early in '15, they'd probably time things to use that to promote Colbert's debut. The Olympics helped to get Jimmy Fallon off to a good start.

I don't think CBS has anything comparable so they'll probably just concern themselves with timing the ratings heat to occur during one of the "sweeps" periods. That's when networks want to get the highest numbers to use in setting future ad rates.

The February 2015 ratings sweeps period runs from Thursday, February 5 until Wednesday, March 4. That leads me to think Dave will do his last show on Friday, February 27 and then Stephen will start on Monday, March 2, which happens to be my birthday. Johnny Carson did his last Tonight Show on May 22, 1992, which was the end of the last full week of that year's May sweeps and then Jay Leno debuted before they were over. (The sweeps period following the February 2015 one begins April 28. I don't think Colbert would be taking himself off the air on Comedy Central on 12/17 if he wouldn't be starting his new show until the end of May.)

A lot of folks, self included, have been wondering if Colbert would move into the Ed Sullivan Theater. I'm thinking not. Colbert will spend a month or three assembling a staff and setting up offices and pre-taping segments and rehearsing and doing test shows…and if he moved into the Ed, it would probably be necessary to do a lot of renovations. CBS will not want to leave a month of Letterman reruns or other programming between Dave's last show and Stephen's first. So my guess is Colbert will do his show from somewhere else, at least at first. That way, Dave and his crew — some of whom have been there for more than twenty years — can take their own sweet time about packing up and getting out. Dave, of course, could keep offices there for whatever else he may do.

Lastly for now, there's still no news on who's going to replace Craig Ferguson…or what's going to become of Geoff Peterson (the gay robot skeleton) and the horse suit. I hope they put one or both in the Smithsonian right next to Archie Bunker's chair, Fonzie's leather jacket and Bob Barker.