I mentioned Victoria Jackson in the previous message. Here's a pretty good profile of the lady with whom I worked on two separate TV shows. She's posted some corrections and comments over on her website.

I haven't spoken to her for a while but I'll echo what others said about her being utterly honest and sincere in everything she says. I just think she's as wrong in her worldview as she seems to think people with mine are. Nevertheless, I liked her and we got along well. I hope that I'll still be able to say that after the next time we cross paths.

By the way, it's been pointed out to me that the Saturday Night Live "Five-Timers" club is kind of a scam. It's supposed to be for people who've hosted the show five times but Paul Simon, who is always identified as a member of that elite society, has only hosted four times. He's been on the program many more times than that but not as host.

The performers who've actually hosted the show five times are Alec Baldwin, Steve Martin, John Goodman, Buck Henry, Tom Hanks, Chevy Chase, Christopher Walken, Elliott Gould, Danny DeVito, Drew Barrymore, Justin Timberlake, Candice Bergen and Bill Murray. And I'm told — I haven't checked this — that Timberlake was actually admitted to the Five-Timers Club on his sixth hosting but they pretended it was his fifth.

Wonder if they tried to get all the previous five-time hosts for last Saturday's sketch. Elliott Gould's sheer presence — still hanging around the club after all these years — could have been funny but it also could have been so close to the truth as to be painful. Buck Henry hosted ten times and was one of the most valuable contributors to that show's early success…but he is, alas, not a big, recognizable star these days so SNL has forgotten him. I can't imagine why they wouldn't have tried for the others though.

Years ago when I was friendly with Victoria Jackson and she didn't think I was out to serve Satan and destroy America by not hating Barack Obama, she asked if I had any ideas as to how she could get back on Saturday Night Live at least once. This was some time after she'd left the cast and thought that another appearance on the program would have boosted her visibility and therefore, job offers. I suggested she submit a sketch idea where the host and some members of the then-current cast wander into a corridor of long-unused dressing rooms and find her in one, like she's been there all along, waiting for someone to put her in a sketch and wondering where Phil Hartman was. It would have been like one of those supposed Japanese soldiers who was on an island for years after World War II because no one had told them the war was over.

She liked the premise but I don't know if she ever presented it to anyone there. A year or two later, I was at a party with some current SNL writers and I mentioned it to them. They all laughed and said it was funny but that it was the second-least-likely thing they could imagine Lorne Michaels allowing on the show.

Naturally, I asked what the least-likely thing Michaels would ever allow on the series was. They said, almost in unison, "A current cast member who has grey or no hair."

The original Saturday Night Live "Five-Timers" sketch…

You may have seen this sketch the other evening on Saturday Night Live. I didn't think it was that great, nor was what I saw of the rest of the episode…but I confess. I get a cheap thrill out of Surprise Walk-Ons. I love that whoop! you get from a live audience when an unanticipated celeb makes an entrance. It's one of the things SNL is still good at.

So I'm curious about something. This was a sequel to the "Five-Timers" sketch that was on the show back in 1990 when Tom Hanks hosted for his fifth time. In that one — which does not seem to be online at the moment, at least not where I can embed it — they did "reveals." For instance, there was a person reading a newspaper and then when he dropped it down, you saw it was Steve Martin. This time, Steve Martin was just standing there…and the live audience reacted at the precise moment when he was on-camera. Same with Dan Aykroyd, same with Chevy Chase.

Martin Short, Candice Bergen, Tom Hanks and Alec Baldwin all made entrances so the audience didn't see them before it was time to react. Paul Simon might not have been that recognizable to most and he could have had his back to the cameras until an instant before he was spotted. But Martin, Aykroyd and Chase all had to be on the set a few seconds before we, the home viewers, saw them…and the live audience only reacted when we saw them.

So what was the deal here? Did they do this sketch on a set that all or most of the live audience couldn't see and they were only watching it on monitors? Did they tell the live audience, "If you see someone famous in this next sketch, don't react until we flash the APPLAUSE sign"? Anyone have an idea?

Three other thoughts about it…

One: It was nice to see those folks again but in a few cases, bittersweet in that Jerry Lewis way. I couldn't help but think that there was a time when Chevy Chase would have mocked an old-timer who came across as past-his-prime the way Chevy Chase came across.

Two: What? They couldn't get Elliott Gould and/or Ralph Nader again?

And Three: It's a shame Conan O'Brien is on the outs with NBC. In the original sketch, the door to the Five-Timers Club was opened by "Sean," a club employee played by O'Brien, who was then a writer for SNL. It would have been so funny if they had shown a snippet of the original sketch first so we saw him, then — live — Justin Timberlake arrives and is admitted by "Sean." He reacts: "Conan O'Brien???" O'Brien asks him to keep it to himself. "After what's happened with my career, I had to go back to my real name and beg for my old job back." Timberlake says, "But…but don't you have a series on WTBS?" O'Brien says, "That's on weekdays and the way it pays, I have to come here on weekends and pick up a few extra bucks."

Here's the sketch as it ran last Saturday night. See if you can figure out why the studio audience isn't reacting to some of these stars before we, the home audience, see them. And my apologies if Hulu makes you sit through an annoying commercial…

David Frum on why he thinks Republicans are wrong to line up alongside Rand Paul. Not that I wish that party would become wiser about how to win elections but I think Paul is not the guy via whom you convince America that you care about poor folks and minorities.

I try to post something here every day…usually, many somethings. Once in a while, I miss a day. If I think that's likely to happen, I put up a soup can picture. In over twelve years of doing this, I don't think I've ever gone three days without a post. In May of '06 when I was in the hospital for surgery, I only missed one day.

If you come to this page and the most recent post is two or three days old, the most likely explanation is that your browser is not refreshing the page. Try refreshing it manually once or twice. You may just see a lot of new posts pop up on your screen. Sometimes, it may also be necessary to flush the temporary internet files cache on your computer. This especially applies if you're using Mozilla Firefox to surf the web but it can happen with any browser. Thank you.

I just watched the PBS Jerry Lewis special. Part of me thinks it's great that at his age, he can still go out there and make audiences somewhat happy. The other part wishes someone would lovingly tap this man on the shoulder and say, "Time to get off the stage, Jerry." The special is filled with vintage Jerry (or Dean and Jerry) clips that only serve as contrast and make him seem even older than he is.

He rambles on, does the typewriter bit and sings about as well as he ever did. The hour contains only a small part of the stage act he did in Vegas (looking very much like the telethon) and a lot of clips and other interviews. He talks a lot about his "partner" (i.e., Dean) and about the love they had for each other and he compares them rather flatteringly to Laurel and Hardy. He also tells us that at one point, he was "making it" with Marilyn Monroe. (Jerry was one of several people I've met who claimed unconvincingly to have had sex with Ms. Monroe. Others included Milton Berle and Bob Kane.)

And of course, what would a Jerry Lewis appearance be without an anecdote that in no way corresponds to known facts? This time, he tells a story that — well, here's the first part of it…

When Johnny Carson called me in 1983, he asked me to take over The Tonight Show. I said, "Yeah, I'd love to do it." So I went to New York for six weeks and did The Tonight Show.

Didn't happen. Jerry did host the Tonight Show occasionally in the sixties, including the infamous week in which he told a joke about how great it was to be in an airplane and be able to go to the bathroom over Mississippi. There was much protest and he wound up delivering one of those awkward apologies that was probably worse than the original joke. But I don't think he hosted at all after that and certainly not for six weeks. Also, of course, the Tonight Show was done in Los Angeles by 1983.

But he's Jerry. The show is still running on PBS…though not so far in Los Angeles. I picked it up on a satellite channel.

A fine gallery of Animators at Work.

Many of you have probably read this article that says that the Disney Studio has no current projects involving hand-drawn animation and no plans to do more of it in the future. I am not one of those folks who finds something aesthetically wrong with animation via computer. At first, it bothered me but I'm coming to accept it as something that in the right hands can be just as wonderful in its own way. The main problem I have with Disney's abandonment of the process is that there are so many people who are around and are good at it. Those people need a place to do that and also to teach their craft to others. It's an art form unto itself and it largely has to be learned by working with those who do it well. If they don't make any hand-drawn films for five years and then suddenly they do, they can't presume the talent and expertise will be there.

The working premise of Airline Deregulation was that it would stimulate competition and that that would be good for us, the consumers. Airlines would lower rates, improve service, fly to more locations at more times, etc. There was a brief period in there when it sure felt like that was happening. Then again, any airline can lower rates and give you more if they're operating at a loss. They just can't do it forever.

Here's an article with charts to show how competition has declined. If you presume more competitors in the field equals better values and service, you have to admit we're not getting it as more and more airlines either close down or merge into others.

On December 19, 1985, a fellow named David Tolley attended a taping of The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson on which the famed pianist Horatio Gutierrez was to have been the musical guest. Gutierrez cancelled out at the last minute due to an injury so Mr. Carson asked if there was anyone in the studio audience who played piano and would like to come down and fill in. He wound up bringing Tolley down to perform…and this was not a set-up. Tolley was not an audience "plant" but he turned out to be a fine musician who has since gone on to a pretty good career. Here is that appearance…

Soon after, Carson had Tolley back for a planned performance. You might enjoy watching this one, too…

From a person who asked that I omit their name here…

It was with mixed feelings that I read your argument for why some smart editor should snatch up Jerry Ordway, who is not getting enough work drawing comics. During my time trying to work in the industry, I never achieved Ordway's position but editors did seem to think my work was good enough to use on occasion. It just never seemed to last very long. In my case, the problem had a lot to do with editorial turnover. Not long after some editor would take a liking to my work, he or she would leave the position and I would have to start all over, trying to get the attention of the new editor and to impress that person with my work.

Ordway has my sympathy for not having work at the moment but I also have to look at it this way. He got a lot more work than I did. I never got to write and draw Superman for years.

Well, I have no idea how well you write or draw but it's entirely possible, if not probable, that Jerry Ordway's a lot better than you are at one or both of those things.

There are a lot of things it helps to remember in a business like this and there are two allied concepts that are especially applicable in this situation. One is that no one is owed a career in comics…or any creative field. You may be owed specific work or a certain continuity of work due to specific promises, overt or implied, and it appears that to some extent, Jerry was. But apart from things like that, no one has a right to the career they seek.

And the other thought that's important to keep in mind is the sheer numerical reality of applicants versus openings. If at a given time, DC Comics is publishing enough material to keep 50 writers and artists comfortably engaged, and they get 600 submissions…well, a lot of folks aren't going to get work. Some of them would get hired if DC was publishing more books but that ain't the reality right now. You may think it's unfair and/or foolish of them to turn you down because you're so talented but the sheer arithmetic tells us that a lot of talented people are going to be turned down. There's no way to avoid it. In some ways, saying "That guy got to draw Superman…why can't I draw Superman?" is like saying "That guy won the lottery…why can't I win the lottery?"

Granted, that's not a perfect analogy since getting to draw Superman does depend on some editor looking at your work and thinking you're the guy, whereas the lottery is a random chance. But I don't think it hurts to remember that both are competitions in which basic math tells us that a lot of someones have to lose.

I think it's helpful to approach work in creative fields with a certain acceptance and even appreciation of how capricious gigs can be; how you often have no idea at all why you got Job A and lost Job B. The people I know who try to overthink these things usually only manage to frustrate themselves…or to build up some sense that they've been swindled out of hirings they deserved. If I meet with a producer or editor, I can certainly construct a logical, irrefutable argument in my mind as to why they'd be ninnies to not hire me on the spot…but why build my own expectations up to the point where I'll feel cheated if they don't arrive at the same conclusion? Most of the time, they won't.

And often, even when they want to, they don't because their plans fall through…for reasons that have nothing to do with me.

The secret, I think, goes back to something I learned from the actor Richard Chamberlain, as explained back in this post. He told me — here, let me copy-and-paste it into this post — "I don't consider myself a television actor. I'm an actor who is currently on television. I don't neglect the other things I can do and you shouldn't, either. It'll make you a better writer of anything you do if you broaden your horizons. It also means there will be more places where you can work."

So even though I at times tell people I'm a TV writer or a cartoon writer or a comic book writer, I don't think of myself as any one of those. I'm a writer who writes all those things plus other things that I feel like writing. In the case of comics, I started in '69 and I'm still at it. I'm writing an issue of the Garfield comic book today. In the past, there were months when I wrote five or six whole comics, times when I wrote one every so often. I've rarely had nothing to do in that form but there have been times I probably could not have made a living just writing comic books. So I wrote something else. It's important when you're a writer — or any kind of freelancer — to always have that "something else." In fact, even when I had multiple ongoing comics to write each month, I rarely did them all for one publisher.

The reason the Jerry Ordway matter resounds with some in the profession is that he's so well-liked and respected. There are other artists out there who wish they drew half as well as Jerry. And if he's not getting work, there's something really wrong there…not just for Jerry but for the industry. Maybe he needs to go off and write or draw in other fields…but if he does, it'll be comics' loss.

A celebration of the destruction of housing structure #4 in a motion picture context…

Here is Bill Clinton with his argument that though he signed it into law, the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional and should be overturned. I agree that it is and should be. I don't quite buy his arguments for signing it. Yes, the D.O.M.A. perhaps headed off a Constitutional Amendment that might have been far more discriminatory and harder to reverse. I can accept that gays might have had less rights with the D.O.M.A. than without it. But if Clinton hadn't signed it, it would have become law anyway. Congress easily had the votes to override his veto. He did not make that law happen. He just endorsed it.

The lion costume Bert Lahr wore in The Wizard of Oz.

As I've mentioned here before, I somehow got on a list that is sold to building contractors. It's a list that purports to be of people who — and I have no idea how they claim to determine this — need construction work done on their homes. I do not need any construction work on my home and if I did, I have a great contractor who I'd call in to do it. Nevertheless, I get between five and ten calls a week from contractors yearning for customers.

In some cases, I believe the person phoning me is an actual contractor. In others, I suspect it's someone who was desperate for employment (there are such people these days) and who answered an ad somewhere that said they could make hundreds of bucks a day. They're then handed a hunk of this list and trained to call folks on it and try to drum up business…and if their calls result in sales, they'll receive a commission that might yield hundreds a day but probably won't. I feel kinda sorry for these people but not sorry enough to not be annoyed by the calls. The approaches fall into three categories…

• The Honest Approach: "Hello, Mr. Evanier. Sorry to bother you but I'm Stan Shmendrake of Shmendrake Construction. I'm wondering if you're in need of any construction or repairs on your home at this time."
• The Semi-Honest Approach: "Hello, Mr. Evanier. I'm calling on behalf of Shmendrake Construction. We're doing some work on a home in your area and one of your neighbors told us you might be in need of some construction or repair work."
• The Outright Lying Approach: "Mark, hi. This is Stan with Shmendrake Construction. You may remember we spoke last August about that construction work you want to do on your home and you told me to give you a call around now and you might be ready."

I usually respond to the last of these by saying, "You're lying. We never spoke about any construction work and if I need any, I have a contractor." On Wednesday, I said exactly that to a caller who hoped to convince me I'd promised he could handle my planned renovations. He was a persistent cuss and he came back and said, "Well, how about giving us a chance to bid on your next job? It won't cost you anything and we just might be able to beat his price and save you a lot of money."

My response? "Why would I want to give a construction job to someone who began our relationship by lying to me?"

That didn't get rid of him, either. Instead he said, "May I just ask…what are you planning to do to your home?"

I decided to lie back at him. I have no attic and I already have a two-car garage so I said, "Well, if you must know, I'm going to have my contractor refinish my attic and expand my one-car garage to a two-car garage." Then I ended the conversation. That was Wednesday.

About an hour ago, I got a call…

"Mark, hi. This is Phil with Frazblatt Construction. We spoke last October and you told me you'd be ready soon to have someone refinish your attic and expand your one-car garage into a two-car garage and I should give you a call about now to come over and give you an estimate."