Frank Rich does another one of those columns on why contemporary journalism sucks.

Late tonight (or early tomorrow morn, if you're the kind of person who sees a glass as half-full instead of half-empty), NBC is running the fifth episode of Saturday Night Live. It was performed on November 15, 1975 and was guest hosted by Robert Klein. It's not one of the stronger early shows. Klein does two solid stand-up spots and performs his "I Can't Stop My Leg" number with the SNL Band. In addition to that, there are two musical guests — Loudon Wainwright III and ABBA. Wainwright's a great performer — and he's still out there, still touring — but I would guess the main interest here would be ABBA. They sing "S.O.S." early in the show and near the end, they return for "Waterloo."

What's interesting is that Robert Klein is largely disconnected from the episode. He's only in one or two sketches in the whole 90 minutes. The week before, guest host Candice Bergen was well integrated into the proceedings, appearing in bits and playing characters. You'd think Klein — who came out of Second City and who had impeccable credentials as an improv and comedy performer — would have fit neatly in with the Not Ready for Prime Time Players. The second time he hosted — two years later — he did. But the first time, for the most part, he does his turns and they do theirs. The following week, the host was Lily Tomlin and she was in almost every sketch.

Early in the show's existence, NBC really wanted to have a regular host. The execs there knew that Lorne Michaels' idea of a different host each week would never sustain in the long run, and they were just waiting for the right host to emerge. My understanding is that a lot of folks upstairs were assuming it would turn out to be Klein, who really seemed ideal: Strong in stand-up, strong in sketches, and he had that "crossover" appeal, meaning that younger viewers liked him but he didn't alienate the oldsters. Like I said though, the episode was weak. Klein, for some reason, didn't seem to meld with the program and they didn't have him back for a while. On the other hand, they booked Candice Bergen to host again a few weeks later, in part because some of the brass still thought she could be the regular host. Somehow, no one ever got the post — John Goodman, notwithstanding — and the show has done just fine.

I wish NBC was running these in sequence because it would be an easier way to study the show's evolution. Next week, they're running one from later in the first season, hosted by Dyan Cannon — also not a great episode, as I recall.

One of the great TV comedy writers, Herb Sargent, died this morning at the age of 81. Mr. Sargent had a long list of credits, some of which are itemized in this obit, but two biggies were That Was the Week That Was and the original Saturday Night Live. When Lorne Michaels assembled his first writing staff, he hired a lot of creative people who'd never written television before…plus one guy who had to show them how it was done. Herb Sargent was that one guy, and he was widely credited with teaching everyone there how to write and sharpen a script.

The last fourteen years, he had served as President of the Writers Guild of America, East. As you may know, WGAe is currently involved in a Tong War with the Writers Guild of America, West. Sargent was at the nexus of that battle and its associated lawsuits, and I'll bet no one has the slightest idea how his passing will impact matters except that, knowing the way WGA squabbles usually go, it'll probably make things worse.

Took the lovely Mr. and Mrs. Leonard Maltin to see the May edition of Totally Looped, a clever show of improv comedy that is done but once a month up in Hollywood. Here's a report I filed eleven months ago about this fun enterprise. Everything I said then is still true, especially the parts about it being very funny. You can find out about the June performance and all thereafter at the Totally Looped website, which looks a lot like this.

Over on Salon, Joe Conason summarizes the recently-unearthed British memo that sure seems to prove there was a lot of lying done to justify the U.S. invasion of Iraq. You may (I'm not sure) need to register or watch ads to read the whole article but here's a taste…

What the minutes clearly show is that Bush and Blair secretly agreed to wage war for "regime change" nearly a year before the invasion — and months before they asked the United Nations Security Council to support renewed weapons inspections as an alternative to armed conflict. The minutes also reveal the lingering doubts over the legal and moral justifications for war within the Blair government.

It's kind of amazing how the standards keep changing for what constitutes a scandal in this country. They investigated Travelgate but they won't investigate this.

As announced in this news release, I have agreed to be part of a five-person "jury" (along with Denny O'Neil, Jules Feiffer, Roy Thomas and Jerry Robinson) that will decide on a new trophy — the Bill Finger Award, to be presented at this year's Comic-Con International and every one thereafter. Jerry convinced the necessary folks that it would be a good idea to honor someone for a lifetime contribution to the art/craft (take your pick) of writing comic books. It's also, of course, a good way to remember the late Mr. Finger, who wrote an awful lot of comics that were much better than his financial compensation indicated…plus, we can all make "finger" jokes. I think it's long overdue.

If you belonged to the old Merry Marvel Marching Society in the sixties, or if you longed to belong, you might enjoy Terrence Brady's article on that august organization. For those who don't know, the M.M.M.S. was a mail order deal where you could "join" (i.e., buy a membership kit for) the official fan club for Marvel Comics. There was a certain charm to the endeavor, courtesy of Stan Lee, even though the Merry Marvel Marchers never marched anywhere.

Also, fans of that era's Marvel Comics may be interested in Fred Hembeck's current column. In it, I correct him about a 1964 Marvel oddment and prove that there's nothing too trivial for some of us comic buffs.

In other news, Al Nickerson is posting a series of articles about The Creator's Bill of Rights, a 1988 brainstorm by a number of prominent comic book makers. My feeling about it, then as now, is that I agree totally with the goal and overall mission, but not necessarily with the methodology. (And I'm not sure I don't feel the same way about ACTOR, a charity set up to aid veteran comic book creators who are financially struggling.)

Many moons ago, there was a 78 RPM novelty record performed by Larry Vincent and the Pearl Boys entitled "Sarah Sitting in a Shoeshine Shop." Dr. Demento plays it every other decade but I'm looking for a copy — like, an MP3 file — for a friend. Anyone got one? I need the whole thing, not the 30 second excerpt that floats around the Internet.

The other night, Jay Leno's musical guest was Bright Eyes, singing a rather amazing song — amazing because it was allowed on network TV, I suppose. "When the President Talks to God" isn't much of a tune. There's very little melody and the ends of most lines feel like they should rhyme but don't. Still, it's kind of startling to hear someone go after George W. Bush that way…and on a show that's sufficiently Establishment that it welcomed the First Lady to its guest chair just a few nights earlier. You can view an online video of the number here.

Someone who did wrote me the following message…

I was amazed that Leno had him on to do that song and I got the feeling that Leno didn't want him there. Jay introduced the song and then you can see him getting up right away like he was walking out on it. Am I imagining something?

Yeah. Neither Leno nor Letterman — nor any current talk show host I can imagine — has on guests they don't want. Once upon a time, Dick Cavett was occasionally forced by ABC (which, in turn, was forced by the Nixon White House) to book certain guests for political messaging. In Cavett's case, it was sometimes a gent named Brent Bozell whose son of the same name, three decades later, is also making a nice living arguing that all news items unfavorable to Conservatives are biased reporting. But no, Bright Eyes would not have been on Leno's show doing that song unless Jay was comfortable with it.

What confused you was that the way the Tonight Show set is constructed, the performing area is way off to one side, so if Jay's behind his desk, he can't see the musical act well, and they can't see that he's watching at all. So he makes a point of always getting up and walking over to just in front of the last guest spot on the couch and standing there during the performance. I've seen him do this every time I've been at a taping. He was getting up to go watch Bright Eyes, not to walk out on him.

If you know what's good for you, don't click on this link.

(If that doesn't work, don't try this one.)

My Internet comes to me via cable from Comcast, and I've had relatively little problem with them. My one big complaint is that for some reason, they don't offer a dial-up number so you can connect to the 'net while on the road. To solve this, I subscribed to a cheap dial-up Internet Service Provider called Access4Less that charged very little and required only a month-to-month contract. Alas, Access4Less is getting out of the dial-up business and handing their accounts over to Earthlink. I received a couple of e-mails (and one robotic phone call) from them informing me that if I did nothing, my month-to-month Access4Less account (for $5.95 per month) would automatically convert to a year-long subscription to Earthlink for $119.40, which they'd bill quickly to my credit card. Ain't that a heckuva bait 'n' switch?

So I've cancelled Access4Less and am looking for something similar. I need a dial-up ISP that I can access from anywhere in the nation but especially from Los Angeles. I'd like the lowest rate and no long-term commitment. I don't care about bells or whistles or parental controls or anything of the sort…just a decent connection.

Anyone have any recommendations?

Some great articles over on Slate. Edward Jay Epstein explains how much money Michael Moore and his associates made off Fahrenheit 9/11. (Hint: It's enough to buy a better outfit.) Jacob Weisberg makes a good point about what's happened to the Conservative movement in this country. Jack Shafer discusses what's gone awry over at the Public Broadcasting System.

Mom's a lot better and things are returning to normal, thank you. It's been a couple of rough days, and I thank those of you who sent encouraging messages, especially those that said, "No need to respond." I don't know how in one week, I could slip three weeks behind on everything I'm doing, but I somehow managed.

I continue to battle many bureaucracies to make sure she has the treatment and equipment she needs…and the last few days, this has required an ungodly number of phone calls, waiting on "hold" and then finding out that I have waited 15+ minutes for a call which ultimately connects with the wrong person.

By this, I mean that someone says, "You'll have to speak to Mr. Jones in our Glendale office about that. I'll transfer you." And then they transfer me and I wait and wait and wait, only to eventually have my call answered by Ms. Smith in the Van Nuys office who has nothing to do with my issue. Twice, I have been given phone numbers to call, only to have the numbers turn out to be of the non-working variety. In both cases, this meant starting all over with dialing the main number. (I've learned to ask people if they can give a direct number to get back to them in case we're disconnected or I am wrongly routed. In most cases, they cannot.)

I've also encountered bizarre applications of the principles of medical confidentiality. At the hospital where my mother stayed for several days, the medical personnel will tell me absolutely anything I want to know about her condition, medication, treatment, etc., merely because I call up and say I'm her son. The accounting people, however, will not tell me how much her co-payments will be because they can only release that information to the patient.

What I've had to do in the last week has not been impossible but it's been very time-consuming and annoying. I keep wondering about patients who don't have someone else to make these calls. A person could not recover from a serious illness and spend hours on the phone straightening out mistakes and omissions. It is possible to get good health care in this country but too often, it involves someone staying on top of the situation and making certain that what's supposed to be done is done when it's supposed to be done.

The doctors and nurses have all been wonderful but the folks who juggle schedules and push papers are either less than competent or they've been plugged into a dysfunctional system. Today on the phone, a nice lady told me that someone had wrongly cancelled a certain appointment. Her computer did not allow her to uncancel it, nor could it tell us who had cancelled it and/or who had the power to reinstate it. It took me around 20 minutes (19 of them on "hold") to locate that person and practically threaten them into overriding procedure and making things right.

Hey, here's a cute little story I have to share with you: Very early Thursday morning, I was in the Emergency Room at U.C.L.A. Medical Center with my mother…and I must say, she received superb treatment. Everyone was nice and efficient and, well, if you absolutely have to be in such a place, that's the place.

My mother was on a gurney surrounded by one of those flimsy curtains they have in hospitals. Next to us, there was another gurney with another woman on it, and I could not help but overhear what was transpiring over there. The lady, who was maybe sixty, had been brought in with some sort of balance problem — an inner ear disorder, I believe I heard the doctor say. Whatever it was, she could not stand without falling. She had fallen twenty-four times in as many hours, and was clinging to that gurney for precious life.

The doctor — same one who treated my mother — was a charming, authoritative man. He looked like Pernell Roberts, sans toup and spoke like Ricardo Montalban, sans accent. Having treated her and decreed that the problem was gone, he asked her to stand. She was too scared to do this. "I'll fall over," she said.

He assured her she would not. A male intern came over and the doctor promised that they'd stand on either side of her and prevent her from falling. She refused. He promised her there was no way she could fall. She said no, she couldn't. The doctor told her she couldn't stay there on that gurney forever. She didn't answer. She just clutched the side of the gurney and held on, tight and trembling.

Calmly, and with a disarming friendly manner, he engaged her in conversation. Where was she from? What did she do? Did she have any hobbies? Two minutes into this chat, she happened to mention that she'd once been a champion ballroom dancer.

The doctor brightened. "Oh, it's been so long since I've danced with someone who really knows how. Would you dance with me?"

The woman looked at him (I assume — I was just listening) like he was nuts. "D-dance with you? Here?"

He said, "Why not? Just a few steps. Do it for me…please."

I don't know if it was because he was so charming or because he was a doctor but, sure enough, the woman slowly turned loose of the gurney and allowed him to help her to her feet. Within moments, I could see them dancing around the small amount of open space in the Emergency Room. There was no music, of course, but the doctor hummed and they waltzed about for maybe a minute.

Just as I was about to ask if I could cut in, the doctor stepped lightly away from her, leaving her standing there…on her feet, in full possession of her balance. If you'd seen the expression on this woman's face — tears of joy as she realized she was not falling — you'd have witnessed one big reason why people become doctors.

I have to get back to work. On my breaks, I'm catching up on websites I routinely read so I'll probably post some links here tonight.

And another round of apologies for not posting anything here lately. I'm dealing with an unhealthy mother and an even less healthy company that is supposed to provide certain home health services for her. Or at least, I was dealing with them, which meant endless hours (hours, plural) on the phone, being placed for long periods on "hold" before I could reach what, nine times out of ten turned out to be the wrong person. And don't you just love hearing over and over again, a cheery voice telling you, "We know your time is important so someone will be with you as soon as possible"? They play classical music while you're waiting and I think in the last few days, I've heard the combined works of Beethoven, Brahms, Chopin, Mozart, Handel, Hayden and P.D.Q. Bach.

It's amazing, simply amazing, that a major company has their phones configured so that it takes 38 minutes just to reach a human being. That's how long my first call to them took…and the person I finally did reach was of no help whatsoever.

Even more amazing is that this is a firm that supplies medical supplies to people who need them to survive. You wouldn't tolerate this service from an outfit that delivers pizza…and oxygen is almost as vital. After a day or so of receiving endless apologies but no change in behavior, I think I've blown off the Big Name health services provider (which shall remain nameless) and moved its responsibilities to a small, three-person outfit where the three people answer their phones and one of them is coming over later with the equipment. True, my mother's health insurance won't pay for the small outfit — I will — but at least she's going to get what the doctors say she needs.

Past experience has shown me that when I post something like this, I get a lot of e-mails from people who say, "Oh, how true," and they tell me the story of the lousy service they received last October. Please, since I'm so far behind on everything, save those tales for another time. I don't think we should be entertaining one another with them. I think we should be sending them where they might do some good. I've been complaining — loudly and forcefully — to various execs at the company in question, plus I'm talking to a lady with something called the Joint Commission of Accreditation of Health Care Organizations. (I don't guarantee I got that name right.) She phoned me because a doctor-friend I called for advice phoned her, and she said that one of the reasons companies can get away with such shoddy service is that there's so little downside for them. Folks like us simply don't complain enough. I intend to do my share.

I'll be back in a day or so. Just as soon as I get things straightened out.

Didn't post anything yesterday and this may be it for today. Briefly, I'm inundated with other matters, which also explains why so many e-mails are languishing in the "To Be Answered" folder. My apologies. I made time for the obit of Zeke Zekley because…well, he was Zeke Zekley. Other affaires d' blog have to wait.

It may be a few days before I'm back to regular posting. When I am, I'll comment on reports that Stan Lee's settled his lawsuit with Marvel. I'll tell a little story about when I worked with the late Mason Adams. I'll answer some questions I've received about the Writers Guilds lawsuits and respond to some comments about my piece on Al Franken's past and why it may not matter.

In the meantime, here's a link to Frank Rich's weekend column, here's one to a piece that says Arnold Schwarzenegger is becoming as unpopular as the guy he replaced…and here's one to a piece on the ruination of Cookie Monster. That's right: I typed Cookie Monster…one of the greatest TV stars of all time. Or at least, he used to be.

Lastly, here's a link to something rather amazing. Go read Kevin Drum about how the U.S. military issued a report last week that was full of redactions…but put it out in a PDF format which allows anyone with Adobe Reader (which is, like, 85% of all Internet travellers) to read the redactions. Drum doesn't seem to know if the redactions are of important data but you've got to figure it this way: If they are, then whoever censored this document then released it is a chowderhead. And if they aren't, then whoever censored this document is restricting our access to information that we have every right to know…and is a chowderhead. The latter possibility reminds me of Jack Anderson's old claim that of all the information in Washington that is marked "Classified" or "Top Secret," 75% is withheld for no reason whatsoever, and another 20% is so designated because someone's trying to hide the fact that they screwed up and/or broke the law.