Signs of Sick

Kevin Drum runs down a list of symptoms of COVID-19. The few people I've encountered or seen on TV who refuse to get vaccinated seem to me to fall into one of four categories…

  1. They're young and figure they're healthy enough to fight off any problems and besides, they're too busy.  Obviously, they don't have time to check out the stats of how many people who thought that got it and got it bad.
  2. They resent the government telling them to do anything.  And yet, for some odd reason, they have no problem with stopping at red lights or not robbing liquor stores.
  3. They feel they're making some sort of political statement in support of certain leaders, every one of whom got vaccinated as soon as it was possible and/or got the disease and had horrible hospitalization experiences.
  4. They've heard of someone who got vaccinated and was really sick for a day or two.  To avoid that, they'll take the risk of getting way sicker for a longer time and possibly dying.

Sitcomedy Tonight!

Yes, I've set my TiVo to record the new CNN eight-part series, The History of the Sitcom. The first two episodes air this evening.

No, I don't expect it to do any more justice to its topic than CNN's History of Late Night — assembled by the same people — but there will still, I'm sure, be some great clips and recent interviews. The problem isn't with the assemblers. It's more with the Mission Statement. You could do eight hours on the history of just I Love Lucy, All in the Family and The Munsters and not cover the topic adequately especially with CNN's desire to run what feels like nine minutes of commercials every four minutes.

But hey, someone was smart enough to engage the great caricaturist Tom Richmond to do the key art for the series — though not smart enough to put out a poster of his amazing crowd scene of sitcom players. They won't let Tom put one out, either.

Today's Video Link

A song called "He'd Have to Get Under, Get Out and Get Under (to Fix Up His Automobile)" was one of the big hits of 1913. The tune was by Maurice Abrahams, the lyrics were written by Grant Clarke and Edgar Leslie, and it was recorded by many, many artists and played everywhere popular music was then played.

I have no idea where I first heard it but it's been rattling around in my head since I was a wee lad in the fifties. It may begin rattling in yours after you watch this recently-performed version of it from The Peacherine Ragtime Society Orchestra. They're performing the original 1913 arrangement and the vocalist is William Edwards.

It might help the experience if you imagine that somewhere, you find an old metal box. You take it away to a place of seclusion where no one can see you, you open it and out pops a frog. The frog puts on a top hat and proceeds to sing this…

Saturday Evening E-Mailbag

The other day, we were talking here about the Beach Boys record, "Wouldn't It Be Nice." My pal Tom Hensley — who seems to know every single person in the music profession — wrote to tell me…

Tony Asher wrote the lyrics. The last time I spoke to him, the song had just been chosen for the ad campaign for the Australian lottery. Having your song used for lottery ads is almost as good as winning the lottery.

I'm sure it is. Meanwhile, Jeff Ingall wrote to ask…

I'm curious why you or anyone would pass on an invitation to be an honored guest at a comic book convention. Isn't it a free trip somewhere and they pay you money to be there and have your fans adore you and you sell lots of things and make tons of money?

Sometimes for some people it is. But for a reason I"m not sure I can explain even to myself, I don't sell things at conventions. I'll sit for a while at a table where someone else is selling something I wrote because that might help a seller of my stuff. But I don't want to sell my own work and I certainly don't want to sit all day at a con signing my name for money…or fretting, as some do, that I'm not signing my name enough to make enough money.

Please understand that I'm not knocking anyone who does that. Or who loves going to conventions.

Free trips are nice if they take you somewhere you want to be. I accepted invites from a number of cons in New York because I like going to New York and it's even better when someone else pays for it. Also, I'm not as active in today's comic book field as I once was so at a con, I don't see as many friends as I once did. And if you add in prep, travel and unpacking days, a three-day convention is more like five days of my life.

This is just a personal choice. I often enjoy being in certain places but I don't really enjoy traveling. I might go to more cons when it becomes possible to just teleport me to one of them.

Lastly, shortly after this appeared on this blog, I got this from John Trumbull…

I was surprised that in your recent post about Rolling Stone's list of the 100 greatest sitcoms of all time, you said that you thought Married With Children deserved a spot on the list. I never would've guessed that that show appealed to your sense of humor. Can you expand a bit on what you thought was so great about Married With Children? I just found it a surprising inclusion for someone who also loves Car 54 and The Dick Van Dyke Show.

I'm not sure if I can even explain why I love Car 54 and The Dick Van Dyke Show. I watched Married With Children from time to time. I didn't find everything on it to be funny but there was enough there that I laughed out loud most times I watched. There are many widely-honored TV shows at which I never laughed out loud, even some shows I liked. I liked The Andy Griffith Show but I don't think I ever laughed during any scene without Don Knotts or Howie Morris in them.

There are people who think comedy writing is only about laughter. It is and it isn't. You can get a good feeling out of some stories without howling with laughter. Situation comedies are about comedy but they're also about situations. You can enjoy a story even when it doesn't make you howl like a hyena. At least, I can. And sometimes, I do laugh at things that no one else finds funny.

Thank you all for writing in. If you have questions, here's where to send them…

ASK me

Mark's 93/KHJ 1972 MixTape #14

The beginning of this series can be read here.

My favorite folk-singing group, The Limeliters, started busting up in 1963 with its tenor Glenn Yarbrough moving on to a solo career. By 1965, he was really established as one with a big hit record — "Baby, the Rain Must Fall," which was the title song to a movie that year of the same name. It starred Lee Remick and Steve McQueen and it was a modest hit. A lot of folks seemed to think Mr. Yarbrough's rendition of the song mattered a lot.

Here he is lip-syncing it on the TV show Hollywood á Go Go, which was a syndicated show hosted by L.A. disc jockey Sam Riddle. The amazing thing about this series was that they shot it in the studios of KHJ TV over on Melrose. I worked in that studio and it was about the size of a three-car garage but they somehow made it look like real television.

You will note that when the song starts, you briefly hear an echo on Mr. Yarbrough's lovely voice. I think he started to sing to the record and the engineer quickly cut off his microphone so there'd be only the one voice. It's a great song though…

Today's Video Link

As you may have read elsewhere on this blog, I used to occasionally roam the halls and studios of NBC Burbank. Sometimes, I had actual authorization to be inside the building, though not to wander into various studios there to watch rehearsals or tapings. Sometimes, I bluffed my way in and roamed from where Laugh-In was taping to where Bob Hope was rehearsing to where everyone on The Dean Martin Show except Dean Martin was rehearsing to where Johnny Carson was taping or Hollywood Squares was being done…

I got around. One of my favorite things was to be near Studio 1 around 2 PM when the Tonight Show Orchestra was rehearsing and then to maybe get back there later to stand in the producers' area and watch Mr. Carson do his show. That band was incredible when heard in person…at least ten times as good as what came out of the speakers on your TV set at home.

Johnny loved that band. His Exec Producer Fred DeCordova told me one time that he thought one of the things that had prevented Johnny from retiring a few years earlier was that he couldn't bear to put an end to that band. He knew that whoever replaced him would bring in a whole new sound — new bandleader, new musicians, new style. It was really the last of the Big Bands and it was also the best gig most of those musicians had ever had. They were well-paid for working four hours a day and didn't have to go on the road, which is where most of the jobs were for guys who played that kind of music.

Here's a number the band performed March 8, 1974. It's good but I guarantee you it was ten times better if you were in the studio…

Shot in the Dark

Every time I make a pro-vaccination comment on this blog, I get an e-mail or two from an absolute stranger telling me it's a hoax, it's a danger, folks like me who've had two shots — and it doesn't seem to matter which vaccine — will begin dropping dead in the streets any day now. No matter how many non-vaccinated people die and no matter how few vaccinated ones do, they hold firmly to this prediction. Some of them even seem to take pride in declaring that their minds are set in Lucite™ about this and nothing will ever change them.

I don't see that as something to be proud of, especially on a topic where some of them also say, "These vaccines were rushed out and not properly tested." One guy told me that and then added that as far as he was concerned, the science was settled and everyone who got one is going to die. He reminded me of those people I met during a foolish part of my life when I was interested in conspiracy theories about the assassination of John F. Kennedy. I met folks who claimed to be open to any theory, no matter how little evidence — the C.I.A. did it, Cuba did it, Martians did it, Russia did it, Elvis did it — as long as it wasn't that Lee Harvey Oswald did it.

More recently, it's like guys who will tell you about Climate Change that "the science is not in" and in the next breath that no, it's been proven conclusively that there's definitely no global warming.

I guess the thing that bothers me most about the vaccine-opponents is that they haven't grasped one basic fact of life. It's always been true and it's even truer now in the Age of the Internet: Anonymous people never change anyone's mind. And total strangers with no visible expertise don't either.

On the matter of getting vaccinated against COVID-19, I was advised by my chief physician, my proctologist, my gastroenterologist, my dentist, my orthopedist, my urologist and one or two other folks who've actually studied medicine and obtained a license to practice it. Remember a few years ago when I had my right knee replaced and it got infected and they had to go back and redo it? Well, that infection was studied by the chief doctor specializing in infectious diseases at that big hospital and he sent out e-mails urging everyone on his mailing list to get vaccinated a.s.a.p.

Could these Real Doctors all be wrong? Yeah, I suppose. But if I have a choice of listening to them or listening to "Wolfguy," who e-mailed me last night, I just might choose to go with the doctors. Because they're doctors.

I dunno who Wolfguy is and if he'd signed his message with a first and last name, I bet I wouldn't know either. But he didn't say he was a doctor, which I assume he'd have mentioned if that was so. Think for a second of a really, really menial job that requires absolutely no knowledge of science or the human body or pathogens. For all I know, that's what Wolfguy does for a living. When he's not messaging me about this, he could be the person sending out all those offers for guaranteed penis enlargement.

But he's an authority because he's read some articles on the Internet that tell him what he wants to believe. He forgets that we can all find articles on the Internet that tell us what we want to believe, especially if we don't care who wrote them.

And yes, you can find folks who say they're doctors — maybe even some who really are — who dissent from the consensus. The only opinion you'll probably ever read on the 'net that's unanimous is my view that there are no opinions on the Internet that are unanimous. Hell, you can even find people who will insist that cole slaw is a food product. That doesn't make it so.

This is not a plea for the non-vaccinated to get vaccinated. You're going to do what you're going to do. I just want people to stop thinking my mind can be changed on medical matters by someone whose identity and credentials are unknown to me. In my view — and this is just my view based on my observations and experience — enormous damage is done, however well-intended, by people who say, "Well, I'm not a doctor but I know a lot about this stuff…" This applies to anything more serious than a paper cut.

Today's Video Link

And here we have the openings of the 29 shows that made up the Fall schedule for NBC in 1962. Yes, I know that in all these assemblies, there are some openings that are not specific to the year in question. I think it's amazing that whoever compiled this found as many shows as he did…

Program Notes

Sooner than I'd expected, the Comic-Con International folks have posted the panel schedule for Comic-Con@Home. Here once again is the list of the three panels I'm hosting there along with (now) the times you can catch them…

GROO MEETS TARZAN – Saturday, July 24 at 12 PM
me discussing the soon-to-be-released Groo Meets Tarzan mini-series with Sergio Aragonés and Thomas Yeates.

CARTOON VOICES – Saturday, July 24 at 6 PM
me interviewing four great Cartoon Voice Artists: Candi Milo (Space Jam: A New Legacy), Wally Wingert (Arkham Asylum), Jenny Yokibori (The Simpsons) and Zeno Robinson (Pokémon).

THE ANNUAL JACK KIRBY TRIBUTE PANEL – Sunday, July 25 at 12 PM
me discussing Jack with artist Walt Simonson and writer-publisher Paul Levitz.

The times given are the times these panels will go live on the convention's YouTube page. Soon after each of mine goes live there, it will be available on this site and you can watch it at any time. There are many others besides my three and you can find the entire schedule here.

Today's Video Link

Here's another one of these…the openings of the 37 programs that made up the prime-time schedule on ABC in the Fall of 1961. There are more cartoon shows in there than you might expect…

Conventional Wisdom

Comic-Con@Home — which is what they call the online-only version of Comic-Con International — takes place July 23-25 on the computer you're using to read this website. There are all sorts of online opportunities to buy stuff which doesn't much interest me but but which will delight many. You can find out all about it on the convention website.

There will also be a great many online panels and the schedule for them will be posted soon. I recorded three…

THE ANNUAL JACK KIRBY TRIBUTE PANEL
me discussing Jack with artist Walt Simonson and writer-publisher Paul Levitz.

GROO MEETS TARZAN
me discussing the soon-to-be-released Groo Meets Tarzan mini-series with Sergio Aragonés and Thomas Yeates.

CARTOON VOICES
me interviewing four great Cartoon Voice Artists: Candi Milo (Space Jam: A New Legacy), Wally Wingert (Arkham Asylum), Jenny Yokibori (The Simpsons) and Zeno Robinson (Pokémon).

Dates and times of these panels will be announced shortly and at some point, they will all be posted on this page.

I'm getting about one e-mail per day now asking me when Sergio and/or I will be appearing at live, in-person conventions. Neither of us would be doing a lot of that even if there'd been no global pandemic but the next one I expect to attend is the Comic-Con Special Edition which will take place in San Diego November 26-28.

Just about nothing has been formally announced about it but I expect it will be a smaller version of the usual Comic-Con International. I'm assuming a smaller Exhibit Hall with fewer exhibitors and programming with fewer panels…but still quite enough of all that stuff to please a lower number of attendees. I'm also assuming there won't be a new wave of viral concerns that will keep me and others away but I think we've all learned by now that it's hard to count on anything in the Age of COVID.

There are other conventions popping up here and there. I passed on the few that invited me and had no interest in the ones that didn't. After (probably) spending Thanksgiving Weekend in San Diego, I'm thinking the next will be WonderCon in Anaheim, April 1-3, 2022.

By Thanksgiving and certainly by April 1 next year, I expect to not be worried about catching any versions of the coronavirus. However, just to play it safe, I'm planning to cosplay as the Golden Age Sandman so I can wear a gas mask and I'll be brandishing some sort of weapon that can fire Pfizer darts into the foolishly-unvaccinated.

Subway to Tomorrow

Next Monday, all 43,945 Subway sandwich shops will be closed and when they reopen on Tuesday, every one of them will have a somewhat new menu with somewhat new sandwich components. There will be a couple of new breads available and there will be new, better ham, turkey, bacon and other ingredients. They are pointedly not changing their tuna, which has come under fire lately by lawsuits and news reports that charge it is not real tuna.

They insist it is, has been and always will be real, 100% tuna…and maybe it is. Under all that mayo, it could be mattress stuffing for all I can tell.

(If you yearn to know more about the upgrade, here's a PDF of a press release about the changeover.)

All of this is fine but I hope in the upgrade, they're upgrading the cleanliness and efficiency of their stores. I used to be a regular customer of Subway. As a person with many, many food allergies, I sometimes depend on chains that offer no surprises. McDonald's may not be the best place to eat but when you're out somewhere and need to grab a bite in a hurry, it's easy to find one and I always know exactly what I'm going to get. Same with Subway.

The last few years though, the Subways into which I've gone have seemed understaffed and undercleaned…and I got one tuna sandwich which may indeed have been "premium 100% tuna" but not for over a month or so. Also, twice in the last three years, their app told me a certain Subway outlet was open and it even took my order…but in one case, I got there and found the store had closed an hour earlier than the app said. In the other, it had been outta-business for weeks but no one had told the app.

What I felt they needed was not better ham but better management. And I've never been in one that didn't feel like it needed one more employee than they had on duty.

Anyway, I'll give the one nearest to me a chance after next Tuesday and try their new menu. I hope someone thinks to tell their app about it.

Mark's 93/KHJ 1972 MixTape #13

The beginning of this series can be read here.

Coming in at Number 13 on our countdown are The Beach Boys with "Wouldn't It Be Nice." It's from 1966 and for some reason, it doesn't have a question mark in its title. I saw this wound up as #97 on Billboard magazine's Top Hot 100 songs of 1966 and I thought it must have come out late in the year. I couldn't go anywhere without hearing it. But no…it came out in July. Meanwhile, Wikipedia says…

The song was inspired by [Brian] Wilson's confused infatuations for his sister-in-law Diane Rovell, who projected an "innocent aura" that he wished to capture in "Wouldn't It Be Nice." Lyrically, the song describes a young couple who feel empowered by their monogamous relationship and fantasize about the romantic freedom they would earn as adults. It subverted past Beach Boys songs, which had normally celebrated material possessions and casual flings, and inaugurates the themes that recur throughout the rest of the album.

I never thought of it that way, perhaps because I never thought of it any way. But I guess that's as good an interpretation as any…

The Outrage Industry

Two of many things that bother me about politics these days are closely allied.  One is the Outrage Industry.  Something happens that is not 100% in lockstep with your political beliefs and instantly, others on your side are spotlighting it and screaming about it and possibly distorting it to try and get you as angry about it as they can.  In some cases, they're using it as clickbait to get you to pay attention to them on TV or on the web; in others, they're trying to get you to feel you're in a war and they need you to get more furious against your common opposition.

And the other is this notion that if someone says something you don't like, you respond with The Worst Possible Insult You Can Think Of.  When I make unintentional detours to websites where this kind of mindset holds forth, I see this.  The most frequent seems to be to accuse the person you don't like of being a pedophile.  There's no evidence or any children being molested at all and certainly nothing connecting the accused to any such heinous crime…but it is probably The Worst Possible Insult They Can Think Of.

A close runner-up is to accuse the person of hating America, which I always think is an empty, usually-baseless accusation.  I mean, if the person is on record as saying something like "You know, I really despise the United States," okay.  Then it would be valid.  But people who hate America rarely say it and people who accuse others of hating America can't read minds and know that.  It's just something you say when you don't have a real criticism but you want to throw something.

Okay.  So the other day at a pre-Olympics match, an 98-year-old World War II vet played the National Anthem on his harmonica.  Members of the U.S. National Women's Soccer Team seemed in some videos of the event to be turning their backs on the man and the Outrage Industry had a new opportunity it couldn't resist.  The athletes, of course, were widely accused of "hating America."

They weren't accused of hating harmonica music or hating the National Anthem — which I think a lot of very patriotic Americans think is not the best song that could have that distinction.  They weren't even accused of hating that one World War II veteran. They were accused of hating America. Rod Dreher, a Conservative pundit I often follow, wrote…

The U.S. women's team is the overwhelming favorite to win the gold in Tokyo, but after this stunt, I'm rooting for anybody who plays against the U.S., because I don't want to see those two ungrateful creeps shame this country by doing that stunt on the platform in Tokyo.

Why do I often follow Mr. Dreher? Because even though I disagree with much of what he says, he strikes me as a smart guy. And unlike too many pundits these days, he admits when he's wrong. He posted this comment he received…

Rod, I'm afraid you've been duped by a clickbait story designed to gin up outrage. First off, you have your facts quite literally backwards. As it happens, the players you highlight in the photo are facing toward the veteran playing the anthem…The players who are accused of "turning their back[s]"…all of whom are vehemently and correctly denying this story on Twitter…turned solely [to] face the large, highest flag to their right.

And to his credit, Dreher admitted his mistake and apologized. Very few people in today's political arena ever do this. Standard Operating Procedure these days when you're corrected seems to be to insist you were right, double-down on your accusation and call everyone who thinks you were wrong a pedophile.

Today's Bonus Video Link

I love silent movies, especially comedies and especially when they're presented the way God and Cecil B. DeMille intended — at the proper projection speed and with proper musical accompaniment. I also like to see them with an audience but we'll settle for two out of three here. For some time now, a gent named Ben Model has been presenting great silent pics online. He's a fine pianist and an expert on the material he's accompanying, plus he brings in other experts to supplement his online presentations.

Each week, he offers up a program of well-selected silent comedies and he does these live online, though we're about to look at one that was recorded on June 13. The point is you can watch them live every Sunday at 3PM Eastern Time. There's a lot of talk and history preceding each film and I find it all fascinating.

If you don't — if you just want to watch the movies — you might want to catch the replays so you can fast-forward. One friend of mine told me he started doing it that way but one day, he watched a little of the commentary and history, got hooked and now watches Ben's presentations live or delayed, start to finish.

Either way, it's free…though I think an occasional donation is in order. Mr. Model and his crew do a great job.

To perhaps get you hooked, I selected a Silent Comedy Watch Party from a few weeks ago with two great shorts. There's Harry Langdon in one of his best ones, All Night Long and even better is Buster Keaton in Cops. In my opinion, Cops is about as good a comedy short as anyone ever made. It's joke after joke, great physical feat after great physical feat…and as a bonus, you get a nice look at how Los Angeles looked in 1922.

Langdon can be an acquired taste so if you're totally new to silent comedies, start with Cops, which starts in the video below at this point. Then go back and watch the commentary that precedes it. Then go back and watch All Night Long. Then plan on joining future Silent Comedy Watch Parties and catching up on ones you've missed. Or you can just watch all of this one in sequence by clicking below…