It's That Time Again!

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It's March so it's Creamy Tomato Soup Month at all outlets of the Souplantation chain, also known as Sweet Tomatoes in some areas. As I mentioned back here, I am not as enthusiastic about Souplantation restaurants as I once was. Last year, I paid about six visits to about three different Souplantations and was a bit disappointed every time. What I ate did not have quite the just-picked/just-made freshness I used to like about their soups and salad bar. Everything tasted a bit canned even if it probably wasn't.

Still, I like this particular soup which they only serve during March and for the occasional week later in the year. I'll give 'em another chance or two and report back here when I can. It is still better to have loved and lost a favorite restaurant than to never have loved it at all.

Today's Video Link

I always think of bagels being made by hand by little Jewish folks in old, cramped bakeries. The good ones, I suspect, still are but here's how they're made in the big factories…

Oscar Aftermath

I see a lot of articles and blog posts online complaining about the length of Sunday night's Oscars telecast. They're right that it was too long but a lot of them seemed to think that was some kind of accident. With the possible exception of Chris Rock's opening monologue, nothing during the show ran way longer than the producers could have anticipated. Nobody made an hour-long acceptance speech. The show ran as long as it did because the producers chose to include what they did…and the network surely knew how long it would run because they sold enough commercials to fill that time period.

I also see a lot of articles and blog posts noting how poor the ratings were and blaming (a) the length and (b) the host. To know if it was the length, we'd have to see the ratings breakdown for every 10 or 15 minutes throughout the show. There's no way of knowing how much Chris Rock had to do with the ratings but my own suspicion is that the host rarely matters much, especially after the opening and the one big comedy spot he or she seems to always do later on. The event isn't about the host as much as it is about the awards and there are many years when the audience just plain doesn't care that much who wins. Were there people really rooting for Spotlight to steal the trophy away from The Revenant? Or who had money riding on Leonardo DiCaprio? I sure doubt it.

The main thing I think the ratings tell us is that viewing audiences have grown more impatient…and also less afraid of missing anything. Once upon a time, if there was a truly memorable moment on a show like this and you weren't tuned in at that moment, you might never see it. Now, you know it'll be replayed on other shows endlessly and viewable on YouTube and so on. Not that long ago, you couldn't do what I did and start watching about an hour into the show and fast-forwarding through what didn't interest me. We simply don't watch television the way we used to. You no longer have to be there when it happens.

Important Announcement Update

Several of the online sources that had previously reported the passing of actor Jerry Maren have withdrawn their postings. Very pleased to hear that. And I'm a little mad at myself for not checking as thoroughly as I usually try to do. My apologies to all, especially Mr. Maren, who is a delightful gentleman.

Important Announcement

An hour ago, I posted an obit here for Jerry Maren, the veteran Hollywood actor. His passing has been reported a dozen different places on the Internet but I'm now hearing that it may be a hoax. In the hope that it is, I've taken the post down. Jerry was — and I'd like to think still is — the last of the surviving Munchkins from The Wizard of Oz…and boy, did he do a lot of great stuff after that.

George Kennedy, R.I.P.

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A fine actor named George Kennedy has died at the age of 91. I never had what I'm sure would have been the pleasure of meeting Mr. Kennedy but I came close. When I was working on Welcome Back, Kotter, its star Gabe Kaplan met him at some Hollywood function and Kennedy told him he always watched the show because his kids loved it. Gabe, figuring our show could do worse than secure an Oscar-winning actor as a guest star, invited Kennedy to appear in an episode. Kennedy agreed.

The staff quickly whipped up a script for him. Earlier in the season, a story had been developed about a gym teacher who engages in corporal punishment, hitting and slapping students in violation of the rules. The script was worked and reworked but no one was happy with it and it was abandoned. Then someone suggested that George Kennedy sure looked like a gym teacher so why not take just that premise — a gym coach into striking his students — and see what the newer writers on the show could do with it?

Everyone pitched in and the script was totally rewritten. In the new version, Coach Caruso (that was his name because that was the name of a gym coach Gabe had had in high school) slaps John Travolta's character in front of other students. He screams, "This is what you deserve for that performance you're going to give in a mini-series about O.J. Simpson forty years from now!" Okay, that's not true. I forget the real reason.

Anyway, the script came out pretty good. It was scheduled and sent over to George Kennedy who immediately decided he wouldn't do it. His stated reason was that his children would never forgive him he played a guy who slapped Vinnie Barbarino…but when our producer suggested we could write something else for another week, Kennedy said he was kinda busy or something that indicated he just plain didn't want to do the show. So someone else — an old-time western actor named Scott Brady — played Caruso.

We were all disappointed. I always thought George Kennedy was a superb actor — and for comedy as well as drama. I forget if it was before or after the Kotter near-booking but I saw him once in a production of Plaza Suite directed by Danny "Neil's Brother" Simon and co-starring Carol Burnett. I don't think it's humanly possible for a play to be funnier than that one was that night.

There was a time in his life when all George Kennedy wanted to be was a senior officer in the military. Some of the obits allude to him having made the shift from that to acting when he got some work as a stand-in on the Phil Silvers show, You'll Never Get Rich, more commonly known as Sgt. Bilko. Mr. Silvers once told me his version of it, which was that the Army had assigned Kennedy to their program as a kind of technical adviser on Army procedures. When the crew heard how little Kennedy's pay was in the Army, they decided to throw him some extra bucks by giving him extra work, usually as an M.P. Eventually, he got a few lines and then came the acting bug. He sure did well for himself.

Mushroom Soup Monday

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Today is Leap Year Day. Back in 1952 when my mother was seriously preggo with me, I was expected to be born on 2/29/52. I somehow missed my entrance cue and a few days later, they went in and got me…but when I was eight and old enough to understand a concept I couldn't have grasped at age four, I was told, "If you'd been born when you were supposed to be, this would be your second birthday." Somehow, my relatives joked, that would have made me two years old instead of eight.

I understood of course that this was a joke but it was an intriguing concept with which to play. If it worked like that, when all my friends were eighty and close to passing on, I would be twenty and in my prime of life. Of course, think of all the birthday presents I would have missed over the years…and how about that long, frustrating wait for puberty? Or to be old enough to drive a car?

Speaking of driving a car, my knee has healed to the point where I've been doing some limited driving, mainly at times when traffic is likely to be at a minimum. It's now been four months since the second of my two operations and I'm doing that plus walking some decent distances. There's still the occasional time when I can't and it's still painful to get up from a chair…especially a low chair. But I'm pretty happy with the recovery process and fairly certain my mobility is better than it would be by now if I hadn't had the knee replacement.

I have stuff to do today more pressing than blogging but before I return to it…

Josh Marshall has a good article up on why the portions of the Republican party who want to stop Trump are unable to stop Trump. Sez Marshall, it's because most of what he's selling is the same stuff they've been selling to their constituents for years. I think that's basically correct. Trump's claim that the I.R.S. is auditing him because he's a "good Christian" is as clear a lie as we've ever heard from a politician — unless it's topped by Trump's claim of yesterday that he didn't denounce the Ku Klux Klan in that interview because he had a "bad earpiece." But the G.O.P. leaders can't denounce him for the Christian hooey at least because they've spent years telling Christians that everyone's out to get them and take away their religion.

Nate Silver says not to presume that everyone who calls themselves a Conservative will eventually back Mr. Trump. This election, it might be wise to presume nothing. I'm even skeptical it'll happen in November.

If you love Sondheim and do Spotify, this is the page for you.

The big "left out of the In Memoriam reel" controversy today seems to be about Abe Vigoda, though there are also complaints about the omission of Geoffrey Lewis, Martin Milner, Joan Leslie and a few more. I was glad to see they included Stan Freberg.

All right. I'll be back later…maybe. I dunno. Lots to get done today.

Today's Video Link

Here's John Oliver last night. How come he and his staff did more opposition research on Donald Trump than all the candidates running against Trump combined?

Recommended Reading

Donald Trump, the man with the Best Memory in the World, doesn't seem to recall David Duke. He described Duke in the past as "not company I wish to keep" but has apparently forgotten both Duke and the Ku Klux Klan. Jonathan Chait has more as does the video I'm about to post.

The Oscars

This isn't really a review of the Academy Awards since I watched the whole show in about an hour thanks to the magic of Fast Forward. Basically, I skip the awards themselves and most of the thank-you speeches. But I thought Chris Rock's opening monologue was dead-on to the point where it made most of the later talk about racism in Hollywood seem hollow and repetitive. As causes go, it was eclipsed in the latter half of the program by Joe Biden's awkward speech and Lady Gaga's powerful song about sexual victimhood. (I'm not suggesting a contest. They're both important issues and not inappropriate to the Oscar ceremony.)

Funniest speech I saw all night not counting Rock's monologue was Louis C.K. talking about the financial non-rewards for the Documentary Shorts makers. The most disappointing speech went with the most surprising win — to great audience delight — of Mark Rylance over the expected Sylvester Stallone. Rylance gave two of the most wonderful, non-traditional acceptance speeches when he won his two Tony Awards. How odd to see him give a conventional "thank you" at the Oscars. (Actually, the oddest thing in the whole telecast was hearing them play "Fight the Power" at length over the interminable closing credits. That was when it really felt like pandering.)

As these ceremonies go, it seemed fine to me…and I would suggest that anyone who calls it the worst Academy Awards show ever, as some always do, is expecting the Oscars to be something they cannot be and probably never were. I hope they have Rock back but he might not be as effective next year when, no matter what, they're gonna nominate some black people. For the wrong reason.

Today's Video Link

Our friend Chip Kidd designs books that are often so pretty the design overshadows the text. Here he is discussing his art 'n' craft…

253

Three separate Bernie Sanders supporters wrote me yesterday, apparently having figured out that his path to the White House involves convincing the guy who works on Groo the Wanderer that Hillary doesn't have a lock on it. Not that I've said she does — though Nate Silver, who actually counts votes as opposed to assessing "momentum," seems to think it's just about over. I just don't have a lot of emotion invested in that race. I'll be voting for whichever one gets the nomination and it won't matter because I live in a state that's going to go overwhemingly Democratic with or without my ballot.

I'm also getting e-mails from folks linking me to articles saying Hillary is certain to beat Donald or that Donald is certain to beat Hillary. Most of the latter seem to have been written by pundits who, 48 hours before the polls closed in 2012 were confidently predicting a Romney landslide. It seems that though they got that wrong two days before that election, they've become infallible 253 days ahead of Election Day. And that's without knowing who the running mates will be, who'll win the debates, what additional stances and promises we'll hear from the nominees, what new scandals will emerge, what stupid things each of them will say, etc.

I'm unimpressed by predictions that are unaccompanied by maps or lists that break down each candidate's chances in each state and how many electoral votes each could win. In fact, I think those are the only forecasts that have any value at all. You want to convince me your guy or gal will be sworn in next Inauguration Day? Break out the electoral map and tell me which states he or she will win…and don't kid yourself or me. The G.O.P. nominee ain't gonna lose Texas or Utah and the Democratic candidate has New York and California for sure.

But you can't do that now with any real data. There simply hasn't been enough polling of most of the arguable states and even where there's been some, it's testing the match-up of Clinton and Somebody versus Trump and Somebody in an election that will have many twists 'n' turns in those 253 days. Obviously, the Democrat starts with a big electoral advantage. He or she just has to replicate the 2012 Obama win and not lose more than 126 of the electoral votes he won. The Republican has to win all the states Romney got plus flip around ten additional ones. It can be done but there's insufficient data to prove it at this time.

Until there is, all of it is wishful thinking as far as I'm concerned. Plus, don't you just get the feeling that this is going to be the kind of election where every even-numbered day, one of the candidates is going to say something really, really outrageous and possibly game-changing? And that every odd-numbered day, we're going to hear a possibly-true story of something really, really scandalous and possibly illegal (but not clearly disprovable) that one of them did? Those 253 days are going to feel like 253 years.

Today's Bonus Video Link

Watch this. Just watch this. (Thanks, Shelly Goldstein…)

Golden Statues

Here's a summary of Oscar predictions. I don't really have many, other than that Chris Rock will do a lot of jokes about the absence of black nominees and a few solid slams at Donald Trump. Maybe Rock will come out in whiteface or something.

At some point, there will be some stunt that is designed to drive traffic to the Internet in a measurable way. And I'd give 50-50 odds of someone on stage getting attacked by a guy in a bear suit.

Someone will probably give some wildly-exaggerated estimate of how many people watch the Academy Awards. The number constantly grows and will soon be greater than the number of people on Earth.

Several people will be outraged at the omission of several people from the "In Memoriam" reel.

A few winners will thank their agents and maybe Jesus Christ (surely in that order) and at least one will take a shot at Trump and/or give a shout-out to Bernie Sanders.

Following the ceremony, many people will write articles about why certain votes went the way they did. These articles will be based on the assumption that (a) everyone in Hollywood votes and (b) they all vote the way they did for the same reasons. Be especially wary of any statement that begins, "This is Hollywood's way of sending a message that…" Most people in Hollywood don't vote and there's no way of knowing why the ones who do vote make the choices they make.

I'll TiVo it and start watching at least an hour after it starts with my finger on the Skip Ahead button. And no matter how good it is, everyone will say the next day that it was The Worst Oscar Telecast ever. Which it won't be but everyone always says that.