Reader Jon Weltz writes the following with regard to our recent discussions of the current continuity in the Gasoline Alley newspaper strip…

I followed your link and read it and I'm glad I did but it's very frustrating that they're arranging funeral services and actually having the funeral and they haven't told us yet for sure who died. Over on his blog, Peter David said he thought this was "bad writing." You seem to think it is good writing and since you and Peter are two of my favorite writers, I am intrigued by the different views. Could you elaborate? And can you tell me how you would have handled this story?

Well, I'm not sure it's good writing. Unlike my pal Peter, I'm waiting for the payoff before I say it's bad, and he may turn out to be right. The writer-artist, Mr. Scancarelli, seems to have something deliberate on his mind and I'm as curious as anyone as to what it is. (Actually, one might argue that anything that gets people to go out of their way to read Gasoline Alley, a long-ignored strip, is good writing but I assume that's not the kind of "good" we're talking about here.) How would I have handled it? I have no idea how I would have treated the whole notion of killing off Walt and/or Phyllis. I wouldn't have done it the way Scancarelli is going about it, but that certainly doesn't mean he's wrong. For one thing, he knows these characters a lot better than I could ever pretend to, and he's probably been planning this for years. However, if I suddenly had to take over right now and plot the ending, here's what I would do…

Let us review. Years and years ago, in the defining moment of his life, Walt Wallet adopted an abandoned baby named Skeezix. Walt later married Phyllis and they've had a very long, happy life together. By some estimates, Walt is pushing 105. Finally, Phyllis says it's time she tells him the secret of the abandoned baby…a secret she has somehow kept from her husband for 83 (!) years. Despite his coaxing, she says she'll tell him tomorrow…and then in the middle of the night, we have the death of someone or maybe two someones, and we haven't seen either Walt or Phyllis since then.

If I had to pick up those plot threads now, it would turn out that Phyllis died. If Walt died, then he died without his beloved wife telling him an important secret, revealing something vital she knows about his past. That's very unsatisfying. It's almost like she did something cruel to him by drawing it out and not telling him sooner, knowing full well that either of them could go at any minute. So what I would do is say that Phyllis died in the middle of the night and Walt made the mysterious phone call in the middle of the night to Skeezix.

Then Walt himself had to be hospitalized because of grief or shock or illness, which would explain why we don't see him in the funeral sequence now being played out in the strip. I would have someone, probably Skeezix, go from the funeral to his bedside and say, "It was a lovely service. Too bad your doctor wouldn't let you attend." Or maybe I'd have a shot of him in a wheelchair at the graveside and indicate he's been in the hospital for the last few days and was let out briefly to attend the funeral…and then he has to go back to his hospital bed.

Either way, you then have to have someone tell him the secret of how Skeezix was abandoned. Scancarelli has set it up for revelation and it would be very mean to the readers not to reveal it…which means that regardless of who died, the surviving characters in the strip have to learn it. If Phyllis died, she had to have left behind a diary or a letter or someone who was authorized to tell Walt in case she predeceased him. It would have been very thoughtless for her not to have done that. So in my version, someone comes to Walt's bedside and says, "Phyllis left this letter with me, just in case" or "Phyllis wanted me to tell you…" Perhaps another child of Skeezix's mother could come see him, thereby introducing Skeezix to a sister or brother he never knew he had.

Then the secret is revealed of how and why Skeezix's biological mother abandoned him. Once he learns this secret, Walt can pass away in peace, thereby reuniting him with his beloved Phyllis. (Some have suggested that it will turn out that by some incredible machinations, Skeezix is actually his biological son. But I can't imagine Phyllis keeping that a secret from both of them for 83 years because of a promise to an outside party, even the mother.)

This is the only logical ending I can envision to what's recently happened in the strip. If Walt died, then Phyllis would have to live with the guilt that she didn't tell him sooner. That would be an awfully negative way to end one of the happiest marriages in the history of comics. If Phyllis died and didn't make provisions for him to learn the secret then she did a heartless thing to the love of her life. Again, a bad way to end that. If both died together, then she still didn't tell him something he needed to know. The only thing that makes sense to me is if she died, Walt learns the secret and then he joins her.

Which is not to say this is how Mr. Scancarelli is doing it. Several comic strip websites seem pretty sure that Walt has died and they sound like they have inside information. What I have here is not a prediction. It's just the way I see the storyline wrapping up. In a day or two, we'll see what actually happens over at this website.

Robert Kagan has been a big backer of the War in Iraq and the general "neocon" worldview. So his current position — that Bush is letting that war be run by people who are botching it up beyond belief — is more than a little interesting.

And as a companion piece, you might want to read Seymour Hersh on reports of Americans torturing Iraqis. There are some pretty brutal photos there but you can read the article without seeing the pics if you prefer.

Lastly for now, Terry Jones (who is inevitably referred to as "Terry Jones of Monty Python fame") has a clever article about the terminology of the current war.

Okay, I'm back home now from a very good convention. Sunday afternoon, I wandered about for a while chatting with folks, then moderated a panel remembering the late Julius Schwartz. Mike Friedrich, David Spurlock and I told stories. Members of the audiences told stories. Julie would have liked everything about it except that he wasn't on the panel.

WonderCon is moving to February next year, swapping weekends with the APE, which is the Alternative Press Expo, a smaller Bay Area convention that focuses on small press publications. Try and be there.

And yes, I got to meet Sid Haig. He turns out to be a very nice man, which makes me all the more impressed with him as an actor. You see, he usually plays very nasty men so convincingly that you figure maybe he's not acting. Here's a link to his website so you can see his picture and go, "Oh, yeah. That guy."

The C-Span website currently has among its online videos, a one hour speech that Jim "Garfield" Davis gave recently at the National Press Club. They rotate these videos so it may not be there for long. If you'd like to view it, this direct link to the video should work for most browsers. If it doesn't, go to the C-Span website and look on the first page.

As we noted the other day, the current storyline of the Gasoline Alley newspaper strip involves the death of a long-time character, probably Uncle Walt Wallet but perhaps his wife Phyllis and perhaps both of them. Writer-artist Jim Scancarelli has artfully taken us through the mourning without telling us just who is being mourned. This non-disclosure has reportedly irritated many fans but according to this article, all will be revealed in the May 5 strip. You can read today's at this link. I will admit to a little frustration at how Scancarelli is drawing things out but I have the feeling he will wrap things up in a satisfying way.

Also, we note that to the surprise of no one who knows how these things work, the cast of The Simpsons has signed a new four-year contract to voice Homer, Bart, Marge and all the rest. For a time, a brief panic ran through some channels of the animation industry, the fear being that the actors' demands would torpedo production of the series and put a lot of artists out of work. I understand how people can be fearful of unemployment, especially at a time when things are so shaky in the industry. But realistically, there was never much of a chance that The Simpsons would stop…or if it had, it would not have been because of the actors.

Boy, I wish I had more to report about this fine comic convention I'm attending this weekend. I'm having a very good time but not in a way that yields gobs of anecdotes I can post here. Saw Russ Heath and Bob Burden today and spent some time talking to Tom Yeates, who is doing a very nice job drawing Dark Horse's new Conan comic book. I picked up a lovely new book that Manuel Auad has assembled of the work of Spanish comic artist Jordi Bernet, and chatted with the widow and son of another great comic artist, the late Alfredo P. Alcala.

Met a lot of people who read this weblog and that's always nice. Especially fun was to meet in person a sharp lady named Rephah Berg whom I have otherwise known only through e-mail. Whenever I post something here that contains a typo, which is way too often, there are about five folks who immediately send me a message about it so I can correct it before most of you see the thing. Rephah is one of my most valuable typo-catchers. If anyone reading this needs a great editor-proofreader, drop me a note and I'll send you on to her.

I didn't get to meet him (too big a crowd) but Sid Haig is at the show. Sid Haig is one of those great character actors who works all the time, almost always playing villains, impressing all who become aware of him. I first noticed him giving a standout performance in an otherwise dreadful Roger Corman film called The Big Doll House, all about women who are sentenced to prison and to the taking of showers. My friends and I all became big fans of his. I remember when we went to see a revival screening of Diamonds are Forever. There's a scene where a bunch of gangland-style hoods move in to surround Sean Connery and we all muttered, "Look! Sid Haig is about to kill James Bond!" If by some chance I find him unmobbed tomorrow at the con, I'm going to barge up to him and get an autographed picture. I don't actually collect autographed pictures but I'd like to shake his hand and tell him how many things I've seen him in.

We did a round of our Quick Draw! game with Sergio Aragonés, Kyle Baker, Scott Shaw! and Steve Leialoha and I think a good time was had by all. This is fast becoming one of my favorite parts of any convention, and I urge you to see the competition we're planning for the Comic-Con International in San Diego.

This evening, I dropped in on a party where the music was so loud that I could only hear about 20% of what friends were trying to say to me and I strained my throat, yelling back to them so they could hear me say that I couldn't hear what they were trying to say to me. I left quickly, then ran into some other friends who said, "Come with us to a party." They took me to another cluster of con attendees where I also couldn't hear, so I decided to come back up to the room and work on an article that's due shortly. I frankly have never understood why people feel compelled to have music at all, let alone at deafening levels, at parties where the main intent is for folks to communicate with one another. A few people were dancing at the second gathering but there still didn't seem to be any excuse for the volume. I am blessed/cursed (hard to tell which, sometimes) with the kind of hearing that picks up noises from all around whatever space I am in, so I assume it's not as bad for some others as it is for me. Still, when I become the Absolute Ruler of All Mankind, I intend to banish music from any party where the main premise is not to listen to music. I will of course also make Karaoke punishable by death but I assume everyone's in favor of that.

Tomorrow: One more panel and I'm off to the airport. I'll see if I can meet Sid Haig before I go.

The Moscone Center in San Francisco is filled with comic book fans, comic book creators and comic books. There are also a few actors and models and one hapless lady who has been assigned by the convention center folks to go up and down the aisles with a pushcart of snacks to sell. So far, she's the only one who doesn't seem to be having a great time. There's no real event to report and I don't expect there will be, but I'm enjoying myself.

Wandered the halls in the morning, did back-to-back panels with Sergio Whatzisname and Paul Dini. Saw a lot of fine comic book folks including Brent Anderson, Tony deZuniga, Dave Stevens, Al Gordon, Steve Leialoha, Trina Robbins, Kyle Baker, Darwyn Cooke, Bruce Timm, David Spurlock, Howard Chaykin, Scott Shaw!, Nick Barrucci, Batton Lash and Jackie Estrada. Whoever I left out, forgive me. It's late.

One thing I've learned, not so much about conventions but about myself is that I enjoy cons more when (a) I have no business to transact, no person that I have to see about some project. And (b) I enjoy cons more when I don't go to too many of them. There's a sense in which they blur together since one convention hall full of dealers and their tables doesn't look all that different from another convention hall full of dealers and their tables. There was a time when I'd arrive at one, walk in and have an overwhelming sensation of déjà vu, as if to say, "I've been to this convention before." For a while, I'd feel so privileged when some con offered to fly me in and put me up that I'd say yes, get there and think, "Why am I here?" One reason I've come to enjoy hosting panels and events at these things is that every one of those is a little different.

Favorite Moment So Far: A kid with a pad of paper comes up to a noted artist (one of those named above) and says, "I'm a big fan of your work. Would you do me a little drawing?" The artist asks which of the many characters he draws the kid would like him to draw…and it is instantly obvious that the kid has no idea who this artist is. He's just out to get free sketches, hoping someday one of them will be worth something. He stammers and says, taking a wild guess, "The X-Men?" (He even said it with the question mark on the end with kind of a hopeful note.) The artist says, "I've never drawn the X-Men" but he uncaps his pen to do the kid a drawing anyway. He puts down what look like the opening strokes of a Batman and the kid says, "Batman! I meant Batman!" After I post this, I'm going to check and see if it's on eBay yet.

For some reason — probably to confuse terrorists — if you book Alaska Airlines flight 1856 from Los Angeles to San Francisco, you are automatically booked instead on American Airlines flight 1928 from Los Angeles to San Francisco. Alaska Airlines has no actual flight 1856. It's all a sham to get you on American.

Anyway, I fell for it and flew this morn to that city we're all sick of hearing Tony Bennett leave his heart in. A funny taxi driver asked me if I knew why driving to and from the airport was the safest gig a cabbie could have. Lapsing momentarily into Steve Rossi mode, I said, "No, why is driving to and from the airport the safest gig a cabbie could have?"

He said, "Because your fares never pull a gun on you. If they're coming from the airport, their luggage has already been screened. And if they're going to the airport armed, they've got bigger things in mind for that gun." He seemed to think this was very funny so I gave him a big guffaw in lieu of tipping.

Checked into a hotel a few blocks from where the gala WonderCon (which I keep plugging here) is being held, then linked up with my pal-partner Sergio Aragonés. Sergio promptly kidnapped me and drove us to Santa Rosa and the Charles M. Schulz Museum, a beautiful structure that chronicles the life and art of a man who created a beautiful comic strip. If you have the slightest interest in Good Ol' Charlie Brown, you owe it to yourself to make a pilgrimage to this place, and don't just stop there. Go across the street and see the public skating rink that "Sparky" Schulz had built, then go see the huge Peanuts gift shop, which is crammed full of stuffed Snoopy dolls and lovely Lucy figurines. (There's also a lot of historical material in the gift shop.) Nice to meet Jean Schulz in person after knowing her only on the phone and by reputation. She is really doing a terrific job of managing the legacy.

Then we drove all over Northern California, walked around Sonoma and ate lobsters, then bought gas and came back to the hotel. I'm sitting here in my room, writing. Sergio is eleven stories below me in his room, drawing cartoons. It was a nice vacation while it lasted.

The greatest scientific breakthrough of our time is not fiber optics or cloning and it has nothing to do with stem cells. It's the Reach Access Daily Flosser. I bought one the other night and can't believe it's taken this long for someone to come up with a product that makes it easy…almost fun to floss your teeth and gums. Those little floss-picks are okay but they have short handles that come off one side so you're limited as to how you can angle them. The Reach Access Daily Flosser has a toothbrush-length handle and it's centered on the flossing-part which makes it much easier to manuever. I may give up writing and just sit here and floss all day. This website will tell you more about it and there's even a coupon there for a buck off, which isn't bad because this wonderful invention sells for around five dollars…and that includes 21 replacement heads. I'd tell you more about it but I have to go floss.

[VITAL UPDATE: Here's a link to sign up for a free Reach Access Daily Flosser sample pack. What more could a person want?]

Here's Fred Kaplan on what's going on in Fallujah. And here's Timothy Noah on a possible future for Iraq that would probably cause even more unrest than bringing Saddam back.

Here for your purchasing pleasure is an Amazon link to pre-order the forthcoming DVD set of Garfield and Friends, a cartoon show I wrote back in my younger days. (I never quite understood that phrase, "younger days." What you did yesterday was done on a "younger day"…but let's not spoil a shameless plug with logic.) This set, which will be out near the end of July, includes 24 half-hour episodes of the most enjoyable experience I ever had in television. I'd like to think it shows. The set includes but one measly extra — the trailer for the live-action/CGI movie — but why do you need extras when you have twelve hours of jokes about eating lasagna, kicking puppies off the table, sleeping and mailing cute kittens to Abu Dhabi? A second volume of 24 more shows is tentatively set for release in time for Christmas and I'll probably harangue you about ordering it, too.

Another great eBay bargain.

Deep sympathies to the co-creator of Green Lantern, Mart Nodell, on the death of his charming spouse, Carrie. The Nodells met in October of 1941 and were married less than two months later. (Carrie always said, "I was in the wedding shop, picking out my dress when I heard Pearl Harbor had been attacked.") They were inseparable thereafter and she aided him, in a non-drawing capacity, with his work as a comic book artist and later as a commercial illustrator. The last decade or so, Marty has been a warm and welcome presence at comic conventions and we all came to love Carrie, who was never far from his side.

[NOTE: If you haven't read the previous message, read it before you read this one.]

Okay, I'm back. A lady eventually comes on the line and informs me that my account is in arrears, I must pay within 48 hours, etc. I tell her I signed up for automatic payment. She says there is no such thing at SBC. "You have to go to the website every month and pay online," she tells me. I respond by reading her the following paragraph off the website…

Pay your telephone bill automatically by having the total amount of your bill charged to your credit card, or deducted from your checking or savings account at a bank, credit union, or savings and loan. Automatic bill payment eliminates overlooked bills and the deduction is automatic; there's no need to contact us each month. Your regularly scheduled bill will be automatically paid on the due date.

To this, the lady says, "Well, I don't know what it says on the website but payment is not automatic. You have to go to the website each month and enter the information so we can charge your credit card or checking account." We then hold a brief colloquy on the meaning of the word "automatic" and when she sticks to her ground, I demand to be passed to someone higher in rank at SBC.

I'll cut to the chase here: Finally, I reach a gent who figures out the problem. I had signed up for SBC's EBill plan which used to allow automatic payments but was changed two months ago so now it's like the lady said: You have to go to the site and manually enter the info to pay your bill online. He says they sent me a statement about this but if they did, I never saw it. SBC has also instituted two new automatic payment plans which they call SBC Direct Payment (for checking) and SBC EasyCharge (for credit cards). Why they didn't just e-mail me and ask if I wanted to switch over, I don't know. But the paragraph quoted above applies not to the EBill program but to the two new services. In some parts of their site, that is clear but on the page I was on, it is not.

The fellow on the phone was very nice. He said I'm not the only person who has been confused this way and he assured me that my credit rating with SBC would not suffer for the misunderstanding. He apologized in all the right places and said he'd inform the folks upstairs that something has to be fixed here.

The whole thing took well over an hour. Ah…online bill payment is such a time saver.